what makes me happy

Here are some of the things that make me content and happy: a sense of inner peace; feeling safe and protected; a sense of abundance and the knowledge that I have all I need; friendship and togetherness (very very important) and being part of a network; giving and experiencing kindness; self-realization or expressing myself through what I do and what and who I surround myself with; giving and sharing; being appreciated and respected by others; when those around me are well and content. Things that don't contribute to my happiness: A new car seems pretty irrelevant to my happiness (mine is pretty beat up and not very new and is a fine means of transporting stuff and people around the way it is); expensive jewelry (wouldn't want to worry about it, bling is just as pretty); expensive name brands (waste of money, only feeds luxury corporations, the actual value of such items is probably 10% of what they cost).

Sure, if I won the lottery I'd go on safari in Africa. But I am perfectly happy not going on safari in Africa. Money can buy basic creature comforts but not happiness. I wonder what makes you happy?

minding others

It irks me when someone walks directly ahead of me into a store or a building and lets the door slam right into my face. It annoys me when someone persistently, - and fairly slowly, mind you, - hunkers down in the left lane. It bothers me when someone yawns with their mouth wide open, displaying all their beautiful, or not so beautiful, teeth. Yes, I do care that people care.

Being aware not only that my freedom ends where your's begins, but also extending basic manners, like holding the door open for the person right behind me, are courtesies that smoothen the rough edges and make living together more pleasant. When I'm done passing in the left lane I return to the right lane to leave the left lane free for others who drive faster and want to get past me. When yawning I hold my hand in front of my mouth to spare people sights into the insides of my mouth.

Walking around with earphones even worsens incapsulation into a me-world that lacks consideration for others, or simply demonstrates obliviousness. By being a tiny bit more aware of our surroundings, by caring a tiny bit more about the people around us and acknowledging them, we can make the world a tiny bit of a better place.

August energy

After August 1 the energy seems to change for those of us who live in the northeast. August signals the beginning of the waning of summer, even though it is often warm long into the fall. Summer is overripe, as are the tomatoes, peaches and berries, and produce is available in such abundance that we can't prepare and cook it fast enough. Yet, the energy feels a bit melancholical. School summer vacation is past the halfways mark, the first cooler nights crop up, on some days the temperatures are barely reaching the 80s, school supply lists are coming out, some school fall sports are beginning soon, and friends are trickling back into town from their vacations.

In the same way the first part of any trip is oriented out, and we slowly begin to look towards home again on the second part of a trip, August is all about a slow reorientation process back towards regular work and school schedules and the fall. We are not quite there yet, we have a few weeks to go, we are hanging on to summer, but it gets dark noticeably earlier than when summer began.

Let's savor those sweet August weeks to the fullest.

more time for lunch

"Madame," the waiter in the small town of Amboise in France said to me with a serious face, "I cannot serve you if you don't have enough time for lunch." My daughter and I were on a breath taking whirlwind group tour through France and Spain and we had a 2:30 château visit scheduled. We had just breezed into town from Chartres. It was 1:45 when we sat down in the little sidewalk café, and I had just told the waiter that we had 45 minutes for lunch - not a lot. Well, the French like to take their time with meals, and rightfully so, have their wine, linger, chat - especially on the week-end. And here I came to tell the waiter to rush, on a Saturday of all days. It went very much against his grain as well as mine. I hate to rush meals. As a matter of fact, I hate to rush, period. Life doesn't get much better than a lazy summer lunch in a small French town in a small restaurant, choosing whatever house specialty is on the blackboard that day - a delicious tuna tartar one day, this time a big salad with roasted pork belly and local goat cheese, another time grilled squid and vegetables and an octopus salad, a glass of wine from the area, watching the people passing by, listening to the birds, and enjoying the fantastic weather.

Life is better when it's slow.

the lightness of summer

Summer has something carefree about it, something lighthearted.   The kids are home from school and college, schedules tend to be looser, cities empty out as people go away, outdoor cafés and restaurants are filled as we yearn for meals under the blue or starry sky, farmer's markets sell a bounty of flowers in poppy colors, we wear lighter and brighter clothes, and everything just seems, well, bouncier. This energy is a great contrast to the heavier ambiance of the colder months - at least for those of us who don't live in southern climes.  Being aware of the change in energies with the seasons makes it possible to live each season more fully, more aware, more in sync with nature and the universe. Summer energy means eating lighter (more greens, more raw stuff, more fruits), adding color to your menu (red chard, orange and yellow peppers, yellow corn, tomatoes in all kinds of colors, red kale, green peas, purple carrots) and wardrobe (more flowery patterns, splashes of color), spending more time outdoors, bringing the outdoors in with flowers, cooking outside, opening your windows to let the breeze in, breathing deeper, singing while you make the beds - you get it.

Live lightly, enjoy the lightness!

awesome details

The advice not to lose the forest for the trees general a good one because the big picture frames our perspective and reminds us not to get lost in minutiae. This is especially practical advice when trying to get something accomplished.  Yet, you may miss out on some hidden jewels.

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Contemplating nature's details can be a deeply meditative activity. I am always amazed at the intricate and delicate details of my orchid blossoms. Nature creates such incredible complexity on such a micro level, it's awe inspiring. It's also easy to pass by without noticing it. The first picture above just shows an abundance of phalaenopsis orchids, too many to look at the details.  But get down on your knees - so to speak - and the colors alone of the orchid center are spectacular. Orange, crimson red, lime green, and lemon yellow set against a porcelain white background. And how about the shapes, tiny as they are? So elaborate, so intricate. How about the two wispy filigreed extensions, that start out white and end in a curled yellow spiral? Or the yellow and red striped part in the throat of the orchid? Or the orange pad (is it the stigmatic surface?) with the red dots in the very center?   And did you notice the see through holes the petal shapes are creating? Or the interesting shape of the lip, the protruding part the insect would land on?

            Ultimately the names of the parts don't matter at all. It is about the experience of savoring the exquisite details and colors inside the otherwise so sculpturally white orchid that gives me such pleasure when I walk past the flower that I need to stop every time and tell it how beautiful, how perfect it is.

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            Of course you can contemplate other shapes in nature and be awed - moss for example, or crystals, or a butterfly's wings. There is endless beauty, perfection and intricacy to be found all around. Each one merits its own attention.

playing in heart land

When I play, which I don't do often enough (although I consider some of my cooking time play time), I am truly in the moment. Young children play all the time. That's what they do. It's their job. They learn by osmosis, through playful imitation of the adult world. Playing leaves the left side of the brain, the rational-analytical side, out of the equation, and stays in right-brain mode. Play is creativity and spontaneity, not calculated analysis. Games like chess or poker or truly competitive sports are not play because they are about left brain strategy, which involves thinking in words.

What makes play play is its state of mindfulness, which is absent of words. The younger children are, the more they exist in this state, not thinking about what they ate for breakfast or what they will play this afternoon. Martha Beck wrote in Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: "the way to cope with the increasing complexity of the wild new world is to play more." Her enlightened advice for dropping into the mindful world of play is to leave the words out - by the way, that's exactly where meditation is headed. "Words are the language of the mind, emotions are the language of the heart," a fellow grad schooler said to me in that regard. Drop the words, drop your beingness down down down - until you reach your heart. Here words don't exist. Words separate, words tag, they have their role, but we spend most of our time in word land and not enough in heart land.

Let's go on a journey to heart land and play.

effortless perfection

On this sunny morning I heard a bird chirping away in a nearby tree while I was getting ready - how beautiful after a long winter of silence. I find that there is nothing more pure and clear than the bright voice of a song bird - effortless perfection. I didn't know what kind of a bird I was listening to, and it didn't really matter. Besides, words often utterly fail to describe an experience. They tend to be insufficient and cumbersome.  That moment was an exquisite experience, no words needed.