finding your fearless?

Many years ago, when I first began shopping at Trader Joe's, I noticed all the lovey dovey, cutesy, artsy signs that are supposed to make you feel coddled, loved, understood, and appreciated.  Signs like, "We've tried it, we've loved it, but if you don't like it just bring it back." It is a shtick of course, good marketing, but one not to ignore. 

Years ago tissue packets were unassuming, white and grey plastic pouches that disappeared into the bottom of my bag, utilitarian, completely functional, and without a thought lost on them.   Not too long ago the little plastic pouches began to sprout colors.  Now they came in vivid lime green and fluorescent pink-orange.  Color makes me happy.  I thrive on color (see a post on glorious color, and another one on color your life).  When I pulled one of these little tissue pouches out of my bag I actually noticed its color.  Just ever so recently the tissue makers went a step further, the Trader Joe's way, the feel-good-way.  "Believe in Yourself" on turquoise; "Seize this Moment" on midnight blue; "Summon your Strength" on a light gray, dotted background; and "Find your Fearless" on orange.

Now it's become a cultural phenomenon to write a blog post about because it fits into our shifting cultural values.  Away from the standardized global culture, and being an underappreciated corporate cog in the wheel.  Meaning! Being appreciated and loved! Being special and worthy!  That's what we crave.  Big corporations took notice of our emotional needs in a global culture.  Seven billion people!  Returning to the individual, the personal, the meaningful.  We are tired of standardization and globalization.  Individually owned bookstores are making a comeback, farmers markets and CSAs have been taking off like crazy, main streets are back, and all the small towns in the middle of nowhere we have visited for college visits over the past five or six years have cool individually owned coffee cafés, and unique lunch and dinner places with blackboard specials, style, and flair.   

Meaning is in! Now you can even find some on your tissue pouch.

are you authentic?

True to yourself? Or do you put a mask on?  Airs? Pretense?  Authenticity means you have drilled down to the essence of you, the concentrate that remains after eliminating all that's not you.  As life progresses it becomes increasingly difficult to not be who you are, to pretend, to act as if you were someone else than the you you were meant to be.  Often it takes a lifetime to create this work of art that's becoming you.  And when you approach your true self it feels better and better.  Keep drilling down.  It's hard, I know. 

If you don’t, cracks will appear - of the mental and physical kind.  Cracks that create an opening, possibilities, the path towards who you might become.  People recognize if it's you they see, or if you are pretending.  As teenagers and young adults we experiment with who we might want to become.  Sometimes we already know what's underneath, sometimes we have no clue.  It's that search, if we truly honor that search, that's so rewarding.  Are you getting closer?  Do you do more things you really like?  That you really resonate with?  Do you spend time with people who really mean something to you?  Do you feel good about yourself?

Dealing with cracks is difficult.  But cracks are only a means to an end, they are not the thing itself.  If you navigate small cracks with awareness no major breakdowns may ever occur.  If you ignore when the cracks become bigger and bigger, you may face major physical and mental challenges.

I become realer as time goes by.  It seems that I reach plateaus in increments and encounter small cracks all along, which I try to be aware of.  Mid-way through my studies, in my early twenties,  I couldn't take Europe any longer and had to leave.  Then, when my daughter was young I went through the next major phase of reorganization, which announced itself with mild depression and anxiety, and then brought forth a master's degree and two books.   Now I am going through another phase of soul searching and drilling down into my own authenticity, working through The Work by Byron Katie and defining how to take my spiritual endeavors towards something that actually resembles a business, a business that expresses who I am.  Here's an earlier related post “beYoutiful."

Where are you at?  Are you still drilling?

experiences as soul work

What do I remember when I go down memory lane?  The really cool pants or shoes I bought three years ago?  Definitely not.  The car that was sort of new then?  Naaaa.  The vacation to Italy?  Oh yes, that will stay with me forever, and the memories of our experiences, the flavors, the scents, and the sights, still nourish my mind and I alight when I think back.  "Do you remember when......," and a smile runs over my face.

It's experiences that create meaning, not so much stuff.  Some stuff can of course enhance your life (lotions, candles, a treadmill, a coffee machine), make it more beautiful (art), make it more practical (dishwasher), or create health (food and supplements).  But stuff without context has no meaning (see a post on meaningful stuff).  "We are meaning-seeking creatures," says British author Karen Armstrong.  A life full of meaning is what creates fulfillment and a worthwhile life.  Experiencing is feeling alive and being part of something bigger.  When we do something with others we feel connected; that is meaningful. 

Traveling and tasting new foods is one of my passions; also sharing food and good conversation with people.  Experiences are ephemeral.  Once they have passed there is nothing material of them left in my life, only a memory.  But it is all those experiences that keep adding layers of livedness, wisdom, depth, and humanness to me on a soul level.  Experiences are soul work.  What is meaningful to you?

The Work

Have you ever noticed that people from noisy or loud families are often noisy or loud themselves?  If you love nature you will find ways to be in nature because you resonate with it.  As a kind and compassionate person you are likely to seek out others who are kind and compassionate.  If you love money and are into outward expressions of wealth you may drive a big car and live in a large house.   Get it?  What you resonate with shows up in your life and mirrors itself for you to see and think, "ah, yes indeed," and perhaps draw a lesson if it's not a Peach Melba experience.

Author and spiritual teacher Byron Katie does this mirroring work, actually called The Work, with our judgments, which are based on beliefs, and in turn create feelings.  All of the feelings on the negative spectrum arise from self-inflicted stress caused by untrue beliefs, which we use to create judgments.  Negative feelings make us miserable.  Unearth and dissolve the beliefs underneath, see them as reflections of your own state of mind, and the stress goes away and life just is. 

The other night my teenage daughter came and suggested that my husband and I might want to go out on Friday night.  She loves an empty house - to cook and be by herself.  But my husband was on his way home from a business trip, delayed two days due to weather.  My reply was quite forceful, indicating that her suggestion might be insensitive to his needs, that all he would want is peace and quiet, a hot shower and clean clothes instead of going out.  My daughter was taken aback by my reaction because I had called her insensitive to her dad's needs and raised my voice.  So, about getting back to the mirroring and my own lesson.  I turned my belief and judgment of, "You are insensitive to his needs," around like a mirror reflection to, "I was insensitive to your needs."  Yes, I was actually insensitive to her needs; I didn't even consider them.  It is amazing what you learn about yourself when you begin this Work.  The world may revolve around me, but only in so far as I recognize everyone and everything around me as my teacher and mirror (consider reading an earlier post "mirror, mirror.")  Someone famous already said long ago something about turning the other cheek.

sweet far niente

Different cultures have different relationships with time.  Our profit based culture is also a culture of never-enough and of lack (see an earlier post on scarcity as a state of mind, inclusive of time).  We equate time with money, of which we never seem to have enough either, and hence we always seem to be short on time.  A twenty-four hour day is never long enough, we are always under the impression that we could've or should've done more.  We experience a constant race against time, and with it comes tremendous stress. 

But time is a human construct.  We made linear time up because we can't really wrap our minds around the new fangled and quantum informed concept of it all happening at the same time. Ask Einstein.  We exist in this self-erected prison of a mental construct, and we built our economy and culture around it. 

Imagine for a minute that you had all the time in the world.  It might be a gift.  It would be such a relief.  Would you know what to do with it?  It might also be a burden.  Many of us need deadlines in order to accomplish tasks.  Deadlines give us a linear path from here to there, and a clear sense of direction. But far-niente-cultures (far niente is Italian for doing nothing), those Southern cultures that know how to linger forever around an outdoor table with nothing else to do than stare into the distance while sipping something, lunch morphing into dinnertime, experience a lot less stress. 

What if we really made it all up?  What if we could let it go, at least temporarily, on weekends and on vacation?  What is your relationship with time? 

going green

I'm my own guinea pig when it comes to experimenting with making food my medicine, and I gobble up all of the latest and greatest information on healing with food.  Having arrived at the low cal/low carb diet as a pretty good diet on which I've lost weight and feel good, then having experimented with gluten-free, the Plant Paradox diet, and most recently an only-raw-fruits-and-vegetables cleanse for almost a month, all those without extreme healing experiences and finding them quite restrictive - I'm now on to something else.

Green for Life had been sitting on my shelf for a while, but the universe sent me another message via a friend.  Go green!  Victoria Boutenko documents her extensive research into the importance of greens in this classic.  She reports that almost 50% of the wild chimpanzees' diet, whose genetic make-up is closest to ours, consists of greens - hint, hint.  In her Roseburg Study she supplied participants with one quart of green smoothies every day for a month, while asking them to stay on whatever diet they were on.  Lo and behold - amazing healing experiences were recorded after only a month of this easy regime, all documented in her book. 

Greens offer incredible nutritional concentration and complexity.  But greens in their raw form are not terribly appealing, and hard to chew, especially in the quantities that would truly be of significance.  Moreover, their nutrients can only be properly absorbed if their cell walls are broken down, and our teeth are not doing a very good job at that. Thus, the trick to ingesting more greens, and making the nutrients accessible, is to drink them in smoothie form.  This breaks the cell walls down, and the blender permits you to play with fruit and vegetable combinations that make them delicious.  While vegetable juices are good because the nutrients are easily accessible, smoothies are better because they add the fiber that helps to clean out waste and toxins.  In addition, greenies raise the hyrochloric acid level in your stomach which "contributes to better absorption of nutrients, decreases the possibility of infection, heals allergies, and improves overall health," as Boutenko writes.  Finally, the increase of greens in your diet makes the body more alkaline, which is another element that promotes healing (overacidification of the body chemistry leads to cancer and inflammation - see an earlier post on that).

We've been playing - bananas, blueberries, greens - greens, garlic, sundried tomatoes - greens, lime, tomato - greens, celery, lemon, tomato, avocado.  The more diverse your choice of greens the better.  Remember that the tops of carrots, beets, turnips, or kohlrabi are greens too.  If you live in the countryside you can go foraging when the weather gets better - for lambs quarters, wild dandelion greens, purslane, nettles, wild thyme, or onion grass.  Greens also include herbs.  I've been buying lots of parsley, cilantro, and dill because they add another dimension to the kale/chard/mustard greens/lettuce/dandelion conversation.  One last bit.  Organic greens are better than conventional greens because the more mineral rich the soil is your produce grew in, the more nutrient rich the greens, and the better your health  (see a post on yummy soil).  I will report back in a month. 

a matter of attitude

My husband and I recently did an almost-28-day only-raw-fruits-and-vegetables cleanse (inspired by Anthony William in  Medical Medium).  Going cold turkey from warming winter comfort foods to eating only raw fruits and vegetables in the middle of winter is no piece of cake.  No glass of wine to reward myself either.  Cleanse was the idea.  I had an attitude, and felt deprived and pretty sorry for myself.  The cleanse was also antisocial - no winter dinner spread would have enough raw foods to satisfy our eccentric temporary diet.   On top of that came the steep learning curve of switching to raw cuisine overnight.  They do a lot with red peppers and cashew nuts.   And we were supposed to have fruit smoothies in the morning.  Coming from northern Europe I like my breakfasts savory - fish, eggs, ham, avocado, all good - banana/blueberry/date smoothies - too sweet for me.

So my attitude just wasn't there, and I was disappointed that I didn't see/feel/experience any amazing changes right away - whether clarity of mind, clearer skin, my graying hair back to brown, requiring less sleep, or other miracles (all in the literature about the benefits of a raw food diet mind you).   To the cleanse's credit I have to say that my husband reported a clearer mind and some weight loss. 

Then I read RAW: The Uncook Book.  Juliano Brotman, its author, prefaces the book with the statement that he is not eating raw for all the obvious health reasons but for "Taste and pleasure and only taste and pleasure."  Maybe you have to live in a warm climate to be so obviously enthusiastic about raw foods.  Maybe my attitude prevented me from experiencing the wow effects.  Maybe we would have had to pull this through for several months or do this during the summer. 

The best from this raw adventure is that I picked up some new techniques to add to my uncooking repertoire - mixing raw mushrooms with soaked sunflower seeds and chopped carrots as a stuffing; puréeing soaked cashews into a smooth crème that can become the base for all sorts of things (from faux whipped cream to faux pâté ingredient); adding a whole raw red pepper to vinaigrette ingredients and blending it all into a truly delicious salad dressing.  In addition, the colors of our meals were always technicolor. 

I am on to the healing powers of green smoothies now.  Victoria Boutenko, author of Green For Life, reports in her Roseburg Study that participants drank a quart of green smoothies each day for a month while maintaining their regular diets, and reported amazing improvements in their health and disposition.  That seems pretty easy to do.  According to Boutenko we all suffer from low stomach acidity and fiber deficiency in our diet, which lead to a host of symptoms.  Let's see what this next adventure in healthfulness brings. 

a breathless world

Patience is in short supply these days because we've been culturally trained to be impatient.  Then corporations can charge to appease our impatience.  With 2-day shipping from Amazon; with faster and faster internet service so the websites load faster and you can work faster; with microwave ovens to warm or cook your food faster; with pressure cookers so you can skip soaking your beans or watching the pot while you cook; and with wrinkle-free fabric so you no longer need to iron.  There are even self-cleaning windows now.   And you probably know that animals' growth rates are being pushed to the limits with grow hormones and special feed so they can be brought to slaughter faster and make money for their corporations faster.

But remember that the Concorde, the fastest plane ride over the Atlantic, failed; and that our push to get children to read, write and do math two years before their minds are actually mature enough, only leads to teachers' and children's frustration (read a recent post on that). Doing so many things faster and faster is not always the better.  There is a limit to the monetary rewards when we become strung out emotionally and healthwise. There is a limit to how fast we can live, and it's showing - what with all the stress and anxiety in our culture. 

We need leisure time.  Our minds need a break.  We need slow segments in between all that speed.  Hence the popularity of meditation, but also retreats, pampering spas, and resort vacations with nothing to do but veg out at the pool.      

Joel Salatin, the sustainable farmer philosopher I mentioned in a recent post, said that between 60 and 70% of his new farming apprentices are now  disillusioned corporate drop-outs in their late twenties and early thirties.  What race are you trying to win?  Slow down, smell the roses, and give yourself a break.  It's better for you.

the problem with convenience

"There is a problem with convenience," sustainable farmer and author Joel Salatin said during his keynote address at an event the other night, "because life is about being bothered."   

The convenience of take-out or mail order meals takes away the "bother" of learning how to create a delicious meal from scratch, knowing what exactly goes into your meal (and hence your body), and where the ingredients actually come from. The convenience of buying all your groceries at the supermarket prevents you from asking deeper questions about the provenance of those supermarket eggs and the "bother" of buying them from a sustainable farmer, or keeping chickens yourself.  The convenience of single-use plastic bags hushes over the inquiry into the environmental plastic scourge we as a culture have created, and the "bother" of bringing your reusable bags with you every time you go shopping.  

But sitting on the beach all day long is only fun for so long.  If everything in your life is "convenient" all the time you're not living deeply.  Life is about doing because engaging with your surrounds gets you to reveal who you are through creative expression.  You enact who you are through what you do. 

Too much convenience, removing all engagement and obstacles, eliminates the opportunity to get your hands dirty and your mind working.  That's why people are more creative the more restrictions they are presented with (I get a creative kick out of making a good meal out of the last few ingredients left in the fridge).   And you know how children's creativity becomes activated when they're out in nature and only have sticks and stones to play with - they construct a float out of whatever they can find and imagination does the rest.  Imagine coming along and bringing them a plastic boat....

Removing all "inconveniences" flattens life and dulls creativity.  Working around "inconveniences," problems, and within restrictions is what life is all about.  Be creative and love your inconveniences.