treat yourself

It's not always about money or what money can buy.  Sure, that luxury spa day makes you feel pampered.  But it also costs a ton of money and that's not what this  is about.  It's about spending quality quiet time with yourself.   And you can do that in many forms and most of them cost nothing. Yesterday I went to yoga, slow yoga to be exact (not that high-energy type of yoga, that's not me, and it's not quiet time).  At night, while I cook dinner, I often have a glass of wine while chopping and sautéing.  It makes my cooking experience more enjoyable.  Or how about a bubble bath before going to bed or out to dinner?  Or 10 minutes of meditation (you can find guided meditations online if you don't trust yourself to stay focused, check out the Chopra Center's free guided meditations).   Spending time watering my indoor plants is kind of a meditative quiet time for me, and I love to discover new air roots and flower spikes emerging from my orchids.

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As a matter-of-fact, I enjoy writing this blog post right now.  So in a way I am treating myself.  So what is something you will be doing for yourself?  And about that glass of wine - be sure to drink it out of a beautiful glass.

more focus, less effort

In yoga we learn to listen in on our body and feel it, to hold a posture for several breaths, and breathe into the muscles that are being worked.   While yoga builds strength over time it is not about straining to push ourselves to the limit, but rather about finding that perfect balance between ease and effort. The best thing I recently became aware of was my yoga teacher's suggestion to notice those particular muscles that do the work during a specific asana or posture, and then to relax all the other muscles that are not involved (especially the facial muscles, which are usually not involved, yet tense up with all the other muscles).  This takes a conscious effort because we tend to tense all the muscles indiscriminately.   But it is quite a revelation to be able to let go of the strain in most of your body and then precisely concentrate on where the effort actually needs to happen.  Instead of being all over the place it takes a lot less effort. 

More focus, less effort - and not only in yoga.

move over fragrance free body products

As a Christmas present my daughter received a beautiful selection of body products from Germany, all made from organic ingredients  (and they don't cost an arm and a leg and are available in mainstream drugstores).  They smell sooooooo good!  There is a hand creme that smells of oranges (all essential oil fragrances), a body lotion that smells of roses, a shower gel that also smells of oranges, and a roll-on deodorant that smells of baby powder.  Every time she uses them I go "ahhhhhh"  and "mmhhhhhh."  Meanwhile, I am using a natural fragrance free face cream, a natural fragrance free body lotion, and a fragrance free crystal deodorant.

I am tired of the guilt ridden attitude - of puritanical origin in my mind - that it's better for you and your body if it's denuded of fragrance, and if it smells good it must be bad for you.  I am not advocating synthetic fragrances (I wrote a blog post on those), their smell is offensive and aggressive.  But I mixed rose essential oil into that puritanical face cream and will buy a different one next time.

The little pleasures in life add quality and depth, they make us feel alive.  It is good to indulge in them and feel good about yourself and the world - guilt be gone.    We always have a choice, and I am going for the (natural) fragrance next time I buy a body product.

sunshine! warmth! greenery!

I am so ready for spring this year (although I seem to say that every year - take a look at last year's post).   After a long and cold and very snowy (at least in my short recent memory) winter I am  thirsty for comforting warmth, sneeze-inducing sunshine and joyful greenery.  And the signs are definitely there beyond the calendar's spring equinox announcement yesterday. My yoga teacher reminded us yesterday that while birth is synonymous with exuberance, it is also associated with pain.  And shifting from winter to spring is a bit like waking gradually from a deep slumber.   So, when stretching our body in expansiveness, ready for exercise and movement, we need to do so slowly and gradually to prepare ourselves gently for more vigorous exercise and greater energy intake.  So it is good that the temperatures zig-zag up slowly, some days are warmer, some days are still quite cold.  It takes a while for our body to get used to warmer temperatures.

Early spring flowers grow very slowly through the packed wet leaf cover.  The last of the snow is receding in my garden, although it may take until April for the large snow mountains on the big box stores' parking lots to melt away.  This time of year I love to bring some bare fruit tree branches from the garden into the house.   Soon enough, and ahead of nature outside, the buds burst open with tiny leaves. 

Somehow it is always thrilling to watch this reemergence of life.  Ahhhh, another spring, a new beginning, in the eternal cycle of life.

to tree or not to tree

The kids have pressured me many times to decorate our Christmas tree early following local custom, and I have always resisted.  According to German custom the tree goes up on Christmas Eve.  In fact, when I was little the door to the living room remained closed all day Christmas Eve.  We knew magic happened behind those doors, we heard noises, we saw the parents going in and out and quickly closing the door again.   And we couldn't wait until it got dark, until the doors were finally opened and the lit (real candles) Christmas tree was revealed to us, all sparkle and splendor, with lots of presents beautifully displayed underneath, after a whole month of Christmassy anticipation.  Total magic!  It was all worth the wait.  Because of our busy schedules now we usually decorate our tree the week-end just before - this year it'll be this coming Sunday.  But that doesn't mean that our house is any less Christmassy before the tree goes up.  Actually, "es weihnachtet sehr" in our house, which translates as "it Christmasses a lot" (because Germans are very Christmassy people, this has become an actual verb).   But The Tree is more special when it becomes the long awaited apotheosis of the Advent period. 

We'll be patient until then.

the first snow

We are home awaiting the first snow of the season (2-5 inches they say). When we lived in Manhattan (way back when) I used to love snow days (and nights) because the snow would muffle the city sounds and the city would become quiet.  But also because the snow would cover all the dark of the cityscape, all the dirt, with a pristine white blanket (at least for a short period of time).

Snow days are a bit different now, but the essence is still the same.  Snow days are happy days for children (of all ages, mine aren't so little anymore), they sleep in, lounge around in pajamas, go out to play in the snow.  For me it's still work but with the knowledge that I can't get out for a quick yoga lesson or some Christmas shopping, worrying that hubby will get home safe (he only stays in if it's really bad), some snow shoveling with the kids and then warming up with hot cocoa and playing Christmas music.  Ah, and Christmas card writing, a perfect day for it.

Snow days quiet the world down, slow our pace, beautify the brown-gray winter landscape.  Snow days are a reminder to stop rushing and smell the roses (or feel the snow) - a gift from heaven.

beautiful gift wrap

A relative of mine wasn't much into gift wrapping. As a matter of fact, sometimes she'd come with a bag full of Christmas presents and ask me to wrap them for her because she knew I enjoyed doing it. Why bother with wrapping a present? The short answer is to make magic. The long answer goes something like this. Although we suppress our childlike enthusiasm later in life too often we love surprises (that's for the recipient) and we like to play (that's for the giver who gets to wrap), and we also enjoy watching the look of joy and surprise on the recipient's face.  Besides, most of us enjoy beautiful things.

I think a beautifully wrapped present increases in its inherent value manyfold. A little trinket can become downright precious with the right wrapping. I guess I shouldn't say this too loudly - but I oftentimes buy relatively inexpensive presents (quality of course, no junk! perhaps something on sale, perhaps something small, perhaps a homemade food item) and make it look really special and precious with creative gift wrapping. It's the thought and the intent behind the gift that counts more than what the item's price tag is.

The Japanese - who have a very well developed sense of aesthetics - have perfected the art of gift wrapping. One way is to wrap presents in cloth, that art is called furoshiki. They also have a special way with paper, called tsutsumi.

When Christmas comes around and I need to wrap lots and lots of presents I make a special event out of it for myself; some Christmas music, all of the paper, ribbons, gift tags and accessories spread on the floor and table, a cup of tea or a glass of wine - and then I create and wrap. I get to play and make it all look beautiful, and the recipient gets eye candy.  It's another quality of life idea.  Enjoyment all around.

mindfulness goes mainstream

There is a yoga studio on every corner and everyone seems to be dabbling in meditation these days. The NY Times recently reported on mindfulness's ubiquity. It must be a sign of growing awareness in all of us (I am hopeful). I have dabbled in meditation - on and off - for many years.  Nonetheless I struggle with it and sometimes think it is overrated (oh well, many ways lead to Rome).  I love guided meditations (there I'm off the hook) but I don't seem to have the willpower to make solo meditation a regular practice and I am probably not alone.

Mindfulness is my thing and it is not so different from meditation and how it trains your mind.  Mindfulness is simply intense monotasking, sometimes I also call it Deep Living.   We can practice mindfulness with just about anything and we do.  Practicing yoga, Taekwondo or any other sport can become a moving meditation when you keep to the task (being in the moment) instead of trying to remember your shopping list or that you have to pick your child up at daycare at 5PM.  Chopping vegetables and cooking can be a meditation in action - that's my favorite one.  I find it very relaxing and grounding to stand in the kitchen at the end of the day and just chop away and stir and taste (perhaps have a sip of wine) and concoct - it comes very easily to me and I don't think of anything else during that time (I'm in the zone).

Try doing something you like doing with relaxed concentration (no fierce determination here).  It's actual not that easy because we need to remind ourselves to let other thoughts float through without hanging on to them and letting ourselves be carried away and off task.  Just like meditation mindfulness requires a mental effort to stay with the task.  You could be washing the dishes, or driving, or brushing your teeth, or composing a report in mindfulness.  Anything done mindfully with deep focus is done better, deeper, with more meaning and quality.   Getting a task done "in order to get it done" is the exact opposite.  You will not find meaning in it and the task will not get done as well.  Having your cellphone next to you in anticipation of the next ding and distraction won't do either.  Thich Nhat Hanh famously described how to eat a tangerine mindfully in his classic 1975 book The Miracle of Mindfulness.

Why not pick a task now, any task you are about to undertake, and do it mindfully? Try it.

Please also visit related previous posts on "Now" and "Just Being."

oh beautiful perfect normal day

Let's honor and enjoy this great day.  Its normalcy is what makes it cherishable - nothing out of the ordinary, no upset, no catastrophe, just quiet and uneventful day-to-day normalcy. Of course, there would be no such day if it weren't for other types of days in contrast, since we live in a yin-yang world, a world where night comes inevitably after day, and is followed again by night in a never ending succession; so inevitably, uneventful days will alternate with eventful or upsetting days, exciting days, or crazy busy days.

Today is peaceful and restful and perhaps even a bit boring and just right.

homemade

I was so happy when our daughter came back from an event on Saturday and announced that she had won first prize for her Halloween costume.  Why was I so happy about that?  Because she sewed the costume herself (with the help of her sewing teacher), which was part of the reason she won. We have always made our own Halloween costumes.  "We" has meant "me" when the children were smaller; although I also remember my husband getting involved.  When our son was five I made him a robot costume out of aluminum-foil-clad boxes including boxy shoes, while my husband wired the costume up so it would blink.  The costume was so impractical that our son had to leave his shoes alongside the road because he couldn't walk in them, and he couldn't see too well through the boxy box head's cut out eyes (good try - but we really had fun making it).

Why does any of this belong in a holistic living blog?  Because holistic living is about living in the moment and enjoying it, it's about authentic, or deep living.  Sewing your own costume instead of buying one is so much more satisfying.  Our daughter got a great sense of accomplishment and empowerment from it, she had a good time while she was making the costume, and she learned a valuable skill along the way.  Meanwhile,  I got the satisfaction that I taught the children a valuable lesson.  What would we have gotten out of a purchased costume?  A shopping trip (blah) and money and time not well spent (ok, so the sewing lesson was as much as a purchased costume), and probably (almost) the same amount of time spent (ok, a bit more - it took her four hours to sew the cat outfit).

Whether it's making jam, cooking dinner, sewing something, tending to a vegetable garden, or building your own bookshelf, it's time better spent (in my opinion) than screen time or shopping-and-driving-around time because it develops a hands-on skill, the activity itself is enjoyable and the result is handmade and unique.