the empathy switch

Why are those animal videos on Facebook so popular? Why do we love animals so much in the first place? When a pet dies it can be as painful as when a human family member dies.  When I drive by a dead deer or raccoon I usually respond with an "awwwwww," and tell it in empathy how sorry I am about how it found its end.

Those cute animal videos make me smile spontaneously, as do our cats.  I cannot be angry at them even though they scratch up the couches and dining chairs.  Sometimes they visit the litter box in the basement together, and come back upstairs with dust on their little faces from digging around in the sand.  I feel so much love and tenderness for them.  Animals' pure unconditional love and innocence elicit instant empathy.  No hidden meanings, no angry emotions, no holding back. When I look an animal in its eyes it tugs on my emotional strings.

We, on the other hand, almost always have a hidden agenda, hold grudges, or dish our love out conditionally ("You can have your dessert once you finish your spinach.").  The big question is how to shift in our relationships with people in the same way and turn that empathy switch on, and the grudge switch off?

my butter dish

Recently, I broke the bottom part of my glass butter dish, while the lid stayed intact.  Both, broken bottom and useless top, or so I thought, went into the recycling bin.  Then I went online to see where I could find a similar dish to replace it.  Lo and behold, what I thought was the lid was actually meant as the bottom portion, and what I broke was supposed to be the lid. I had been stuck in my thinking. If I had  thought out of the box, I could have saved the lid, and kept using it as the legitimate bottom part it was actually meant to be.  Instead my mind had tagged the unbroken part as unusable because I had labeled it  lid.  Of course in my defense I could have said that my application was creative too, just to make me feel better.  As a matter of fact, and in hindsight, I guess the butter dish could be used either way around.

But the creative beauty would have been in seeing right away that the dish can work either way, my choice, my preference. This incident taught me to look more deeply, to slow down before acting spontaneously (the throwing out part), and to be more creative and less rigid in my approach.

Has something like this ever happened to you?