dull Jack

            The well known proverb "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" is something to contemplate in our culture that is so focused on making the next buck, answering your work cell on week-ends, and generally racing towards retirement when you can finally collapse.  Not so fast!  Actually, please come to a screeching halt. 

            In general, Europeans don't have to be taught to go play, have fun, go on vacation, attend cultural events and read a book every once in a while.  But here, where it's virtuous to be a good corporate soldier, we need a reality check every once in a while. 

            When you're in a rut your productivity goes down, your motivation goes down, and the excitement of waking up every morning and creating a brand new day with a million possibilities vanishes.  If your stress level is always on HIGH, if you're always ON, your pleasure hormones can't get through because the stress hormones are on a chronic ON.  Not only that, you become a dull person with a single focus - work. 

            Instead, why not develop an activity or an interest that intrigues you?  Research it, immerse yourself, become an expert.  Something else to talk about when you get together with friends.    Always work talk is boring.  When you meet someone new in Europe the first question will almost never be "so what do you do?"  In fact, people usually talk about everything but work when they get together socially.  

            Something to consider.

 

on contentment

I feel content right now.  Contentment is a feeling that leaves nothing wanting. The current moment is perfect.  I am deeply relaxed and everything is alright.  It feels peaceful and somewhat meditative as nothing is rushing in on me that needs immediate attention or couldn't wait.  It is somewhat of a mild feeling, nothing like exuberance, joy or exhilaration, more like a quiet happiness that is deeply satisfying.  I feel it after a yoga session, I feel it when I am not under pressure, and I feel it right now.  I hope it'll last a bit.

                                            When was the last time you felt contentedness?

the human touch

            Most of the time I feel a bit guilty when I take care of myself (and call it pampering).  But massages actually accomplish several worthwhile things besides pure indulgence.  For one you get total downtime (your only obligation is to show up, lie on the table, enjoy and think sweet thoughts), you also reconnect with your body, get to enjoy the pleasures of caring human touch, and last but not least knots and tension dissolve under the massage therapist's knowledgeable hands.  Author and physician Christiane Northrup writes "Touch is a basic human need, so meet it shamelessly."  Did you know that gentle touch actually releases the pleasure hormone oxytocin and melts away stress?

            It's easy to make excuses, especially the money kind.  Consider swapping a massage for something you do well through an hour-exchange.  No money spent. What better way to spend 30 or 60 minutes?

love is in the air

                    Coming from Europe, where Valentine's Day is not taken too seriously, I used to find it, well a bit corny.  To illustrate the importance of Valentine's Day in this country in comparison:  In last Sunday's social Q&A in the NY Times Styles section a woman expressed feelings of insecurity and dejectedness because her boyfriend had scheduled some sports competition for Valentine's Day, would have to go to bed early on Saturday night and presumably fall into bed exhausted on Sunday.  What was she to do, all alone on Valentine's Day?

                      

                      

                   Maybe the answer lies somewhere in between buying your loved one a diamond every Valentine's Day and scheduling a sports event when you know this day is important for her, a happy medium between forced commercialism and meaningful relationship affirmation.  Relationships take effort, and expressing and reiterating our appreciation and love for our partner is important, whether the calendar says Valentine's Day or not.  Personally, I think that overpriced and overcrowded restaurants are not the place to go on Valentine's Day.  But celebrations are always great fun, and another excuse for doing something special is wonderful, in whatever way, shape or form you chose to do so.  For the past few years we have organized a red themed family dinner at home, with each family member in charge of preparing one red course.

             What are your plans?

let's hibernate a bit

                  Yesterday I was dragging a bit.  When I spoke to my husband he replied that he, too, was tired.  Then my daughter mentioned that she was a bit tired.    We spoke about wintertime, that it's very cold outside, that people usually feel like holing up this time of year.  Many mammals in our latitude go into full hibernation and just sleep the winter away; plants go dormant as well.   We obviously can't do that.  But maybe, just maybe, we can slow down a bit, curl up with a good book and a cup of tea, catch up on some sleep by going to bed earlier and spending more time under the warm and soft covers.  It get's dark so early and it feels so good to be in the warm house.  Soon enough, when the days become longer, we'll burst with energy and a zest for life and action.  But for now it's a good time to enjoy the slower pace of life.  Let's hibernate a bit.

            

why not indulge?

             I admit that I easily feel guilty when I indulge myself.  Not so much on the food side - I did grow up in a food culture and don't feel particularly guilty about some wine and chocolate here and there.  But when it comes to massages, pedicures, meeting friends for drinks or lunch, an hour of slow yoga in the middle of the day, just treating myself in general, I tend to feel a bit guilty about spending money on "frivolous" things.  But it is the frivolity, that it is unnecessary and special, that makes such occasional treats so worthwhile. 

            Whether it's an hour of reflexology, paint night (one of those wine & art events), or anything else that let's you know how much you appreciate yourself, is good for you.  The pleasure of feeling good about yourself, about feeling pampered and taken care of, is very soothing.  You are totally worth it!