Happy ChristmaHanukkah

            Finding canny significances in events and things - some call it synchronicity - makes life more meaningful, and can send a strong message. 

            This year Christmas Eve and the first day of Hanukkah fall on the same day.  Why not take this convergence as an opportunity to celebrate inclusiveness and togetherness?  We are stronger together than fragmented into splinter groups. Instead of lighting candles for Christmas, or lighting candles for Hanukkah, why not light candles for peace, for happiness, for compassion, for inclusiveness, for understanding, for awareness, for human rights this year?  May light prevail over darkness, and may love prevail over anger and hatred.  Wishing all a happy ChristmaHanukkah.

time for Besinnlichkeit

             In German culture, Christmas, and the Advent weeks prior, is a time of Besinnlichkeit, which, like Gemütlichkeit (see earlier blog post on that), is a term that can't quite be translated directly, only approached through approximate synonyms and a description.

            American Christmas is "bright" and "merry," a time for joyful Christmas parties and conviviality.  The Christmas music reflects that - think of Here Comes Santa Claus, or A Holly Jolly Christmas.  German Christmas is reflective in flavor and indicative of the cold, dark time of year when we hibernate and go inward.   The German Christmas spirit also expresses the holiness of the celebration.  Germans get together for Advent coffee with homemade Christmas cookies and Stollen while listening to Christmas music and lighting the candles on their Advent wreaths; they go to Christmas concerts and Christmas markets; and the kids sit together over Christmas crafts (well, maybe no longer, but we did anyway, when we were young).  Many German Christmas songs are hundreds of years old and sound a lot more "churchy," solemn, mystical, and reflective.

            It's good to intersperse our hectic technology-infused lives with times of slowing down.   Besinnlichkeit is a combination of introspection and reflection, of pensiveness and going inward, of centering and grounding, of connecting with the spiritual.    To me, Christmas has always been somewhat mystical, and Besinnlichkeit let's me tap back into that enchanted world of childhood magic. 

special traditions

          Today we celebrate St. Nicholas in my country.  The children set out their shoes, plates, or stockings, depending on which part of Germany they come from, before they go to bed on December 5.  St. Nicholas comes overnight and brings goodies and small presents, which they find in front of their door when they wake up in the morning.  There is even a special St. Nicholas song for the days before he comes.  St. Nicholas is also celebrated in Holland, where the children receive their presents on this day, not on Christmas, as well as in Belgium. 

            Unless you are of Native American heritage, everyone comes from somewhere else here.  We all have shared American holidays and traditions, like Thanksgiving; and then we have our own cultural or ethnic traditions.   That is what makes this country so unique, and all our friends so interesting.  Our children are older now, but they hang on to that sweet tradition.  Our teenage daughter still sets her boots out - because - while our son gets his St. Nicholas package sent to college. 

            What are your special ethnic traditions you don't share with your neighbors?  Be sure to hang on to them.  It gets boring if we all do the same thing.

beauty everywhere

             The other night I cut up some red cabbage to make a salad for dinner ..........and  stopped in my tracks.   I simply was struck by the beauty not only of the vivid purple-white color combination, but especially by the intricate patterns that revealed themselves under my knife as I kept cutting through the cabbage wedges.  I just had to stop, pull out the camera, and take a few pictures.   The swirley thin red lines, embedded in larger swaths of white, look like art to me, like purple switch backs, or a brainy kind of a pattern.  They alternate with straighter white and purple shapes, and the color combination is just gorgeous. 

            You can find beauty anywhere and in the most unexpected places.  Just stop in your tracks and look around.  Did you see something beautiful today?

seeking meaning

             British author Karen Armstrong said about mankind that "we are meaning seeking creatures." My cats live day to day without that ongoing quest for a deeper meaning.  Sure, sometimes they are happier than other times.  But all in all their life is just peachy, without worry or concern, but also without deeper meaning.

            As to us, we thrive on meaning.  We want to know "why?"  We invent creation stories to imbue our culture with root beliefs, we create special festivities and attach symbols and customs to them to create significance, we create culture as backdrop for life, and as a basis for shared experience, which creates meaning in and of itself.   Consider the two sides of our ongoing search for meaning.  We become depressed when we see no meaning, and we thrive when we can glean a deeper significance to what we do.  On the one hand it gives us a sense of purpose, and it can propel us,  inspire us, on the other hand itcan also torture us.   

            In yoga they say "there is no place to go, you are already here," meaning there is no need to struggle towards some goal we create for ourselves based on some narrative. My cats are already there - right here - they don't look further.  We are different, I guess, until we become enlightened, then we're like my cats.  Content to be right where they are, which is here.  Buddhists say that all suffering comes from having desires, and when there are no desires there is no suffering.  What do you think?

ready for candles

            I'm ready for fall.  I just replenished my candle supply, lots and lots of tea lights, and lots of tapers.  When the temperatures drop fast during the magic hour and it gets dark earlier and earlier the fall air heralds indoor candle time.   I always light candles when we entertain, adding sparkle and fire to the ambiance.  The warm glow of candles softens the electric light and basks the room in festiveness and shimmer.  If you have a fireplace it's time to inaugurate it for the season and enjoy the mesmerizing flickering of wood fire flames you can meditatively stare into forever (gas fire places are just not the same with their tamed almost predictable flame pattern).

            A note on wax.  Most candles nowadays are made from paraffin wax, an odorless petroleum product.  In the past candles were made from tallow (if you're into experimenting give it a try making them yourself, but their smell is not so pleasant).  The other traditional candle material is bees' wax which has a beautiful scent.  You can still get bees' wax candles, but they are quite expensive.  The best renewable candle material is soy wax made from soy bean oil.

Read here a previous post on candles.

too cheap?

             A few days ago I saw a similar sign on the side of the road.  What came to mind was "Ok, so it's cheap.  But how would they actually treat my dog or my cat?  How carefully and compassionately is the procedure done?  If it's so cheap, which aspect of the experience suffers to make it so?   How well are the technicians trained?"  The reflections that ran through my mind had to do with quality.  Many things boil down to "how much" in our culture.  We tend to quantify, and we want it cheap. 

            But what about the quality aspect?  Fast food may be (relatively) cheap, but we all know about its quality - in the long run and in large quantities the stuff makes you sick.  Cheap clothes are exactly that - they won't last as long as a higher quality item, they couldn't possibly.   I could go on with more examples - cheap furniture, cheap kitchen gadgets, cheap tires.  They all don't last long.  It's not possible to make high quality items, or to provide a superior experience for cheap.  We need to weigh quality versus price when purchasing an item or a service.

            A summer or two ago my daughter wanted to get a manicure and we walked into a small salon on the way somewhere.  The advertised manicure was cheap.  We looked around.  The place was in a strip mall, the smells were overpowering and toxic, the furniture looked institutional, and the atmosphere was, well, cheap.  The whole thing about getting a manicure, at least to me, is to feel pampered, to experience a half hour of relaxation in a pleasant atmosphere.  This place did not provide any of those experiences.  We walked right back out and went elsewhere.  Sometimes too cheap is too cheap.

music in the air

            "Soft music was playing in the background," or "through the open window she could hear the clear yet far away pling pling of a piano somewhere," are such romantic novel cliché sentences.   But music in the air does add a lot to the ambience, it's one of those quality of life things. 

            When we have people over I always have background music playing, sometimes more jazzy or bluesy, sometimes more French chanson, sometimes something else, depending on the mood and even theme of the evening.   But it's always so soft that it adds to the overall ambience and is only heard in shreds here and there through the hum of the general conversation.  When I don't have to concentrate too hard, I may put music on while I work, although that needs to be very soft classical or piano music, otherwise it distracts me. 

            Music adds festiveness to the mood and softens the atmosphere.   Music, like any art, adds to the quality and complexity of our everyday life experience.  Without music, or art in general, life is denuded, stark, plain.   To me putting on music also signals "special" since I don't have it on all the time.    You can also add the frequency argument to the conversation.  Since music is or has a frequency, and higher frequencies denote more positive emotions and moods for us, music in those higher frequencies (...not Heavy Metal or Punk Rock) contributes to our overall feeling of wellbeing.  Hence allegros are perceived as cheery and largos as composed and serious.  Hence also the reason for piping baroque music into the Port Authority bus terminal in New York City.   

what's it all about?

         What are some of the things you really enjoy in life?   Do you get enough of those moments?  Are you doing anything to get more of those moments?  What could you do to experience more of those moments?  Do you think you deserve more of those moments?  Would you like to live more of those moments?  What prevents you from having more of them?  Imagine what it would be like to have a life full of beautiful moments.  Go for it.

radical tidying

            Marie Kondo's only criterion for keeping anything is whether "the item sparks joy."  Her method for uncluttering your home (and your life) has become internationally known through her book "the life-changing magic of tidying up." Kondo's approach to tidying your home promises a whole new mindset once you have gone through her radical process of ridding yourself of everything that doesn't make you feel good.  And organizing, she makes clear, cannot start until you have gotten rid of all that excess stuff.  She also promises no relapses because your mind will have shifted during this radical process.

            Take your wardrobe for example.  You probably have a bunch of items in the back of your closet you haven't worn in years but keep around because you might just sometime feel like wearing them again.  Or maybe you feel guilty about getting rid of them because you think that's wasteful (well, think consignment store).  But if you do take the time to take each piece into your hands and reflect on whether this piece of clothing makes you feel good when you wear it (Kondo's method), and the answer is a resounding "nahhh, not really," you know what to do.  Get rid of it.  Same advice goes for your books, nicknacks, pantry and everything else in your house.

            I think it's worth a try.  Although my home is not cluttered I know I keep things around that wouldn't pass muster if I asked myself that test question.  Kondo's idea behind all of this radical purging is to only surround yourself with things you love and to clear stuck and stale energy in the process, inside and out.  See this previous post on clutter inside/clutter outside.