it's all in the experience

            We need to experience it to believe it, to feel it, to be alive.  That not only includes what we would label "positive" or "enjoyable" experiences, but also what we call "negative" or "painful" experiences.  As English poet John Keats wrote, "Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced."  

            I can't truly know poverty from reading accounts of what it means not to know where my next meal comes from.  I can't truly know unconditional love until I have had children that I fiercely want to protect from all the painful things that could possibly happen to them.  I can't truly know passion and joy from reading a book or poem. 

            Humanity in its entirety is living this quandary in real time as we observe climate change.  There are many who don't believe that this is actually happening, or who'd maybe rather stick their head in the sand, even though scientists have predicted it for several decades, and now have unfailing supporting statistics.  We don't necessarily want to trust theoretical expert advice and scientific projection.  It seems that we must feel the heat and the weather disasters and the droughts and species reductions before we are willing to act and say "that is something I don't want, now that I have experienced it myself."  Chef Dan Barber expressed this in a documentary I recently watched about his difficult beginnings.  His take on adversity in life is that it teaches us where we don't want to go back to; and by default it teaches us what we want instead.

            Take any recent experience and reflect back on it.  Did it show you something that you would want to experience again?  Did it show you something that you would never want to experience again?  Did it teach you something that you want by showing you its opposite?

all the world's a stage

        A few nights ago we saw Shakespeare's As You Like It on a beautiful summer outdoor stage.  In this comedy Jaques famously says to Duke Senior:  "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players;..."  This phrase reminds me very much of one of the interpretations of our earthly existence.

            One of the ideas out there is that life is sort of a school, a learning experience through which we have the chance to better ourselves.  But that idea leads to the thought of punishment for not learning one's lesson well.  Another idea is that God/Spirit/Nature fragmented itself from Oneness into many, so that the One might know itself better.  In other words God/you/I/We All are at the same time One, but split into all the individual beings to know itself/ourselves.  In that interpretation we are actors on our own stage, and the director at the same time. 

            This is an amazing view that permits a bit of distance from the play.  As director I can watch the play in amusement or dismay and know a part of myself that I have forgotten.  I can see myself in others as I would look into a mirror.  As the actor I experience the joys and pains of life, while I get to steer life from the director's role.  So clever that Shakespeare built this deep wisdom into one of his delightful comedies.

a sense of community

             Much research has been conducted on the positive influence of a good social network.  In a nutshell, good friends are much more important to happiness than money, and even promote longevity.    That is also one of the big messages we took away from our recent trip to Alaska. 

            We spoke to many non-indigenous people who had chosen to come live in this unforgiving territory for the love of nature and the majestic outdoors.  Distances are enormous, the state is sparsely populated, it's nature over culture, and winters can be dark and lonely.  Yet, the common thread in our conversations was community.  Time and again people said that one of the reasons they loved living in Alaska was the strong sense of community.  

            Friends are so important when there are no restaurants around, no movie theatres, no libraries, no cultural events.  You rely on friends and neighbors for entertainment, especially during the long dark winter months. So people get together for tea, for knitting, for story telling, for potlucks, for helping to repair things, to go shopping together, you name it - any excuse is good to get together.

            Please follow this link to another post on the power of social relationships.

learning to lose

         It is time to move aside and consider the rest of our planet's inhabitants.  It is time to shrink our economies.  It is time to leave some nature unraped. British philosopher Alan Watts wrote

".......a permanently victorious species destroys, not only itself,

but all other life in its environment."

        We depend on all other life on this planet.  Without trees for oxygen, without plants for food, without wood and fiber for building and clothing, without water for drinking, without the animal kingdom for balance of our ecosystems, we do not exist.  We have already destroyed so much of life on earth, let's not keep winning to the bitter end.

a kick in the butt

             Sometimes I need a kick in the butt.  I don't need to be hit over the head.  But some recent work shenanigans rattled me profoundly out of my self-induced writing slumber and inspired me to get my book edits finally to the finish line, pretty fast, just like that.  That was easy!  Book done, off to test readers.  After final suggestions and edits I'll figure out the publishing part.

            It's easy to fall into complacency.  When things are just too comfortable, too easy, then we stop learning, stop creating, stop being truly enthusiastic and excited about new horizons, new prospects, new possibilities. 

            Of course you can get off your butt before then. It's less painful for sure.  Be proactive and on your toes, anticipate the need for change before the universe helps you along, gently or not so gently.

life is good

             Not many things are better than breakfast outside while listening to a bird chirping concert.  Even if brief because on a weekday, it frames my day, it grounds me, it sets a positive tone, and it reminds me how perfect, how beautiful life can be when I look at it from a positive perspective. 

            What experiences reboot your mind?

going deep

      The message about my blog and upcoming book is to live deeply, slowly, with awareness and thoughtfulness, instead of skipping the surface.  By going fast we tend to miss understanding the significance of things, or make mistakes, or simply overlook the beauty of things.

            It seems to have taken some Brits by surprise that the Brexit vote actually went through.  It seems that many Brits only wondered about the consequences of the vote after the fact.  It seems that many Brits would opt for a do-over if they could. 

            Slowing down allows us to think a bit more, a bit deeper, weighing and anticipating the consequences ahead of time.  Spontaneousness has its charm in certain instances - when there are no major consequences either way.  "The weather is beautiful, I was going to do the laundry, but let's go for a walk instead."  But decisions with big consequences require several deep breaths, a looooong pause, a bit of research, taking a look from all sides, maybe sleeping over the quandary, then considering things with fresh eyes the next morning - before deciding.  Things with big consequences can't always be undone.  Take a look at an earlier post on slowing down. And another one.  

we teach best what we most need to learn

            Author Mike Dooley wrote that.  Mmh, an interesting thought to explore. I am thinking that we learn best what we most need to learn.  But then it's is only a small step from learning something to teaching something. 

            In fact, I have always believed that people who study psychology or related fields actually want to find out more about themselves.   I was always interested in the big spiritual questions and in healing.  Turns out, after studying and pondering both subjects for many years, that the answers to both are closely related, and I'm addressing them in my upcoming book.  So there....  What are your thoughts?

why we need elders

            Children and grandchildren often lived either with or in proximity of their parents and grandparents, and in traditional societies still do, giving the younger generations access to older people they can trust, and who can guide them because they've been there done that.  Nowadays we don't always have access to that elder wisdom because parents and grandparents often live far away or perhaps we have excluded them from our lives because we were so busy. 

            But we all need mentors, guides, counselors, people who help us navigate our complex world that is going through huge changes.  The world is changing faster than ever.  Often the grandparent generation, even if around, is not keeping up with technology and social changes and is thus unable to help because they may feel lost themselves.  Heck, parents are often lost and their teens flounder and resort to drugs, alcohol, and the virtual screen world because they lack emotional support and wise guidance.  Between climate change, environmental calamities, changing economic paradigms and social structures, the refugee crisis from the Middle East and Africa, and violence and terrorism seemingly popping up anywhere and everywhere we have a lot to chew on.

            We need very special elders to guide us through these intense times so we don't get lost in despair, anguish, or aloofness.   They are around, I know some of them.  Intergenerational communication is more important than ever.

shhhhh

              We lived right by the road for over twenty years and didn't realize how much all that background noise affected us - until we moved.  Now we live in a very quiet place and it is heavenly peaceful all the time. 

            The machine age is only about one hundred and fifty years old.  Before that the world was quiet.  Imagine for a moment a world without engines - no cars, no airplanes, no kitchen machines and appliances, no noisy farm equipment.  With the development of electric cars we may actually be heading back in that direction, as my husband noted the other day.    Have you sat in an electric car?  You can't even hear that the engine is running.  Generating electricity from solar panels is completely silent as well.  I remember the roar of the furnace in our old house when the thermostat switched it on, the geothermal system in our new place is almost noiseless.

            Quietness is grounding.  Alone-time is important to reboot your mind.  Are we headed back to a quieter world?  Will it help us to become more grounded and less frazzled?  When our children were small we reminded them every once in a while that they needed to stop chattering for a bit and said "It is quiet time now."  Find some quiet time every once in a while, it brings peacefulness.