too much of a good thing

What goes up must come down.  We have been eating a lot of rich foods in the past few days, and are likely to resume eating rich foods next week for the New Year's celebrations.

Fact is most of our special holiday dishes are protein based, whether from meat, fish, or crustaceans.   Fact is, though, that as omnivores we thrive on a well balanced diet, and that festive meals tend to be especially rich in protein, fat and sugar, while lacking what we consider the mundane basics - produce, fiber, grains. Culturally and historically, protein in whatever form was expensive because costly to provide - ergo reserved for special occasions.  Same went for sugar and fat. Remember the Sunday roast? It was special.  Meat was not eaten every day; nor were cakes and pastries.   We used to save them and savor them.

photo courtesy www.jeanclaudesbakery.com

Things are a bit out of whack now because food has become cheap and that former frame of reference is gone.  Most of us can afford all the "special" stuff, which is no longer so special.  Therefore we need to reign in those cravings through self-control and activate our critical-analytical thinking skills.  At the prospect of a meatless dinner my son usually says "awwww" in disappointment.   But too much of the rich stuff and we feel heavy, sluggish, full.

So back to well balanced meals after the holidays for a well balanced body.

Merry Christmas

my child, my teacher

The traditional perspective was that children should be seen but not heard, meaning children are supposedly lesser people because they are young and inexperienced.   Watching children these days I am occasionally wondering whether some parents are now sending the exact opposite message by permitting their children just about anything, showering them with material stuff, failing to teach them respect and social manners, worshipping them endlessly and providing no gauge or boundaries - basically granting them adult style freedom. But I am headed elsewhere yet.  I believe that we can actually learn from our children even though they are indeed much younger and have less life experience (on the surface).

First of all, especially young children react in a socially unfiltered way, they speak truthfully and to the point (refer to The Emperor's New Clothes) without trying to spare people's feelings.  Secondly, from a spiritual perspective our children are our peers because as spirit beings (in a material body) we are all equal.  We could go further yet, into the idea of reincarnation.   Here we get into potential role reversals and the possibility that your child might have been your parent, mentor or partner in another lifetime.  Intriguing.

When my daughter was 10 we had a deep and spiritual conversation about defining health and healing and how it was more a mental than a physical thing, and in conclusion she burst out "we'll then no one is healthy, not even a doctor."   Children can be downright wise.  Next time your child says something that upsets or irritates you at first blush, do listen, completely, and try to see their side, where they are coming from.  Often we think we know better, but sometimes they actually do.

to tree or not to tree

The kids have pressured me many times to decorate our Christmas tree early following local custom, and I have always resisted.  According to German custom the tree goes up on Christmas Eve.  In fact, when I was little the door to the living room remained closed all day Christmas Eve.  We knew magic happened behind those doors, we heard noises, we saw the parents going in and out and quickly closing the door again.   And we couldn't wait until it got dark, until the doors were finally opened and the lit (real candles) Christmas tree was revealed to us, all sparkle and splendor, with lots of presents beautifully displayed underneath, after a whole month of Christmassy anticipation.  Total magic!  It was all worth the wait.  Because of our busy schedules now we usually decorate our tree the week-end just before - this year it'll be this coming Sunday.  But that doesn't mean that our house is any less Christmassy before the tree goes up.  Actually, "es weihnachtet sehr" in our house, which translates as "it Christmasses a lot" (because Germans are very Christmassy people, this has become an actual verb).   But The Tree is more special when it becomes the long awaited apotheosis of the Advent period. 

We'll be patient until then.

you are the center of the universe

"Life's not coming at you but from you," Aura Lehrer my yoga teacher said recently.  This is something quite amazing to ponder because it turns the way we  perceive ourselves in relationship to the world upside down.  We tend to have the  impression that we are a victim, that people are there to make our life miserable, that stuff happens just to annoy us to no end.  It's the blame attitude.  When we are in that mode everyone else seems responsible for our misery. Oftentimes I have waited at a party (when I don't know a lot of people) for someone to come up to me and start a conversation, in which case I didn't have such a good time.  Recently I went to a function and just walked up to people, re- or introduced myself, and engaged in conversation...and lo and behold I had a great time.  I was the initiator of my experience, I made the good time happen instead of waiting for someone else to make it happen for me.

So back to this fantastic phrase - what you put out there comes back to you, when you put nothing out, nothing much comes back.  In a way you are the center of the universe and it all emanates from you!

the first snow

We are home awaiting the first snow of the season (2-5 inches they say). When we lived in Manhattan (way back when) I used to love snow days (and nights) because the snow would muffle the city sounds and the city would become quiet.  But also because the snow would cover all the dark of the cityscape, all the dirt, with a pristine white blanket (at least for a short period of time).

Snow days are a bit different now, but the essence is still the same.  Snow days are happy days for children (of all ages, mine aren't so little anymore), they sleep in, lounge around in pajamas, go out to play in the snow.  For me it's still work but with the knowledge that I can't get out for a quick yoga lesson or some Christmas shopping, worrying that hubby will get home safe (he only stays in if it's really bad), some snow shoveling with the kids and then warming up with hot cocoa and playing Christmas music.  Ah, and Christmas card writing, a perfect day for it.

Snow days quiet the world down, slow our pace, beautify the brown-gray winter landscape.  Snow days are a reminder to stop rushing and smell the roses (or feel the snow) - a gift from heaven.

the significance of animals in our life

Since the death of our beloved cat this past summer I have been pondering our relationships with animals in general, and more specifically through my relationship with our cats.  I have read several books on communication with animals since then because I really see a soul when I look into an animal's eyes (a cow's on a walk, a deer's in a field, a lion's in a zoo, a horse in a stable), the same way we see it in people  - you have probably heard the saying "the eyes are the mirror of the soul."  Well, it's as true for animals as it is for humans (and why would it be different anyhow?).

It is telling to watch people interacting with their pets.   Amelia Kinkade, the noted animal communicator, writes in her book The Language of Miracles "The animals are here to facilitate our enlightenment through their unconditional love."  Some people get it, some not so much yet.

While I by no means pretend to be able to communicate with our cats, I totally get that you can tune into them by becoming silent (.....quieting the mind as in meditation or simply tuning in and tuning other stuff out) and learning it the way we would learn Spanish or Russian.  It is a matter of practicing and a matter of applying the appropriate techniques.  You wouldn't try to learn to speak Spanish by practicing scales or chopping up onions.

What astonished me most from reading this particular book is how well developed animals' emotional lives are, and how precisely they are able to communicate to anyone who is able to listen - on how they are being treated, on what they prefer to eat, on their own and even their owner's state of health, on their preferred toys, on the layout of the place where they live, on the family dynamics of their host family, even everyone's names.  Quite amazing.

I am so much more careful now with how I interact with the cats after reading this book because I realize that they are more aware than you would ever believe it - a total eye-opener.

no Me Generation

Turns out that Generation Y is very different from the Me Generation, the baby boomers.  The NY Times reported in a recent article that Generation Y, those born after 1980, are more into quality of life and less into financial success - quality over quantity.  "Meaning" and "making a difference" are terms that come up.  Meaningfulness for these millenials is associated with "other-orientation" as well as giving, as opposed to egocentrism and personal gain.  The term ecocentrism (as in ecosystem, in contrast to egocentrism) has also been used for those who think "green," who care about doing what's good for all and nature vs. what's just good for oneself.  This is a real shift and in sync with the shift or rise in consciousness we have been told is underway.  These convictions will have huge implications on our culture and politics.

Fasten your seat belts!  Move to the side boomers!

let's talk turkey

Since everyone else will be writing about thankfulness I will write about another aspect that comes up with a lot family togetherness, and that is communication. Communication and conversation can be learned and cultivated.  Yet, when we get together with family members on special occasions we tend to replay old relationship records, and those don't always make for the best communication patterns.

Oftentimes we know what sets off certain close relatives.  Some people thrive on the controversy that arises when we push each others' buttons, others look for an expected reaction, sometimes we just operate from a groove we have been grinding deeper and deeper, a relationship groove in acting out and perpetuating certain roles.  Philip Galanes of the NY Times responded to just such a query in a recent column and recommended adding some new faces to the Thanksgiving people mix to change the chemistry around.

A really good exercise is to put yourself in the other person's shoes because we usually operate from our own emotional needs (not the other person's, we are so egocentric).  When I get upset because a family member put the toilet paper roll in the "wrong" way I am upset at my own unmet need for the toilet paper roll to hang my way, so the paper hangs down the front (and is easier to grab).  So it goes with all our communications and emotional reactions.

In the practice of nonviolent or compassionate communication (which takes a long long time to get used to, practice and acquire because it goes so against the grain of our culture) we try to understand and address the other person's emotional needs and where they come from when they speak.  Something to think about when we sit around the turkey table tomorrow.

beautiful gift wrap

A relative of mine wasn't much into gift wrapping. As a matter of fact, sometimes she'd come with a bag full of Christmas presents and ask me to wrap them for her because she knew I enjoyed doing it. Why bother with wrapping a present? The short answer is to make magic. The long answer goes something like this. Although we suppress our childlike enthusiasm later in life too often we love surprises (that's for the recipient) and we like to play (that's for the giver who gets to wrap), and we also enjoy watching the look of joy and surprise on the recipient's face.  Besides, most of us enjoy beautiful things.

I think a beautifully wrapped present increases in its inherent value manyfold. A little trinket can become downright precious with the right wrapping. I guess I shouldn't say this too loudly - but I oftentimes buy relatively inexpensive presents (quality of course, no junk! perhaps something on sale, perhaps something small, perhaps a homemade food item) and make it look really special and precious with creative gift wrapping. It's the thought and the intent behind the gift that counts more than what the item's price tag is.

The Japanese - who have a very well developed sense of aesthetics - have perfected the art of gift wrapping. One way is to wrap presents in cloth, that art is called furoshiki. They also have a special way with paper, called tsutsumi.

When Christmas comes around and I need to wrap lots and lots of presents I make a special event out of it for myself; some Christmas music, all of the paper, ribbons, gift tags and accessories spread on the floor and table, a cup of tea or a glass of wine - and then I create and wrap. I get to play and make it all look beautiful, and the recipient gets eye candy.  It's another quality of life idea.  Enjoyment all around.