Life is really all about people. We can’t live in a vacuum, or on a lonely island for that matter. We feel an affinity to other people who are similar to us, and thus see reflected back to us how we are already. When we dislike something in another person, it mirrors our shadow side back to us, something we still need to learn or to accept. This means that we define ourselves in comparison to and with the help of others. My meditation teacher Bruce Rubin posted this amazing year-end talk on the human condition and relationships. It’s truly enlightening.
stop and smell the roses
Why do we like stories so much? Steve Almond, author and creative writing professor, says that the narrator “is the guide who makes sense of the story.” We used to TELL stories, then we WROTE stories, now much of our story telling comes in the form of horrific pictures from the media. Storytelling has become fragmented – why? Because our story is changing and we are confused about it. The old stories, such as our Western creation story, are obsolete. Even our president deplored that he might not have narrated a good enough new story to the American people. Of course there are all sorts of stories, local and global. Stories illustrate where we come from, where we might be going, what’s going on around us, and how it all hangs together. But, as Almond writes in his very good story on stories, our present storyline is being overshadowed by “glittering fantasies of violence and fame.” He is wondering whether “…the story of our species…has simply become too enormous, too confused and terrifying, for us to grapple with.”
Stop, and question, and wonder, and discuss, and read, and make up your own mind about our current story. Don't let yourself passively be assaulted by the zillions of fragmented and incoherent pieces of visual and verbal mis- dis- and actual information.
Stop and smell the roses sometime.
photo by Deborah Fitchett
do you see the connection?
Do you see the connection between:
- South Korea electing a woman president
- The recent Brooklyn rabbi conviction in a sexual abuse case of a teenager
- The recent Indian rape protests?
Concurrently in different parts of the world breakthroughs are happening on the women’s rights front. Not that I want our culture to veer in the opposite direction, towards a female domination. No, this time around I believe we are finally headed, slowly but surely, towards cooperation, equality, mutual respect and understanding. Check out Barbara Marx Hubbards’s websites
on our consciousness evolution and what the end of the Mayan calendar is really about –a new consciousness structure, not the end of the world; although I am hoping it will be the end of the world as we know it now: war, environmental destruction, capitalistic exploitation and domination.
out with the old, in with the new
Although time is our own invention it seems to serve us well – at least most of the time. And just as we need our Mondays (to clean, get organized and start fresh in little ways), we need a new year for a fresh start in bigger ways and to bring closure to the previous one. That way we don’t have the impression of existing in an endless timeless cloud. I know, New Year’s resolutions usually quickly dissolve. Still, they are important, especially if we are not used to taking stock during the year. It’s good to pause and breathe and assess where we have gone in the past year and where we ‘d like to go in the coming year and years. So make a plan. Here’s to 2013!
the spirit of Christmas
Though I love watching everyone unwrapping presents (and unwrapping some myself, too), good food, the glow of Christmas candles and the sight of the Christmas tree, the highlight of Christmas Eve this year surely was the annual Christmas Eve gathering at Warwick’s Old School Baptist Meeting House. In the twenty years we have lived here we never attended this event because of our own Christmas Eve family routine. But several people mentioned it this year, and I listened.
Sharing this event with so many familiar faces in this historic and picturesque white church on top of the hill right in the center of our beautiful town was simply magical. It was a spiritual event because it nourished the soul, even though it was not a church service. And our mayor said so aptly in his address: “There is nowhere I would rather be than right here.” I couldn’t have agreed more and I am so grateful to be living in one of the greatest little towns on earth.
crazy times - creative times
Crazy times here on earth! Between the end of the Mayan calendar, the insane shooting last week, and all the other serious problems we have created - environmental, cultural, nutritionally, agriculturally and so on - it is a pretty chaotic world. But it is also an insanely creative and opportune time to awaken and turn things around (before it truly is too late). Like in a huge thunderstorm, where warm and cold air masses collide, the old and new are colliding in front of our eyes. There are so many conservative and fundamentalist movements out there composed of people afraid of change, confused by what is going on, and who would like to take refuge in the old known ways. And then there are the new movements, from the Occupy movement, to the Arab Spring, to the many women’s lib initiatives all over the world. I mean a woman, albeit conservative, was just elected to the Korean presidency! Because 12/21/2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar usher in a new consciousness, 2013, more than any other new year in recent times, is a grand opportunity to follow your heart, make sweeping changes in your life, make a difference in the world, in your community, for yourself, and move this evolving consciousness along and in the direction of a better world, a more cooperative world, a more compassionate world, a more creative world, a saner and healthier world.
mirror mirror
Did you ever wonder why the world may seem full of wonder and beauty one day, and perhaps gray and miserable the next? It’s the same world after all, the world hasn’t changed suddenly.
We see the world through our emotions, or I could say that the world reflects back to us our state of mind. If you have never thought about it in this way, it might seem far fetched or even crazy. What, there is no objective world out there that “is the way it is?” No, everything is in the eyes of the beholder. Even quantum physics says so.
Think about it. If you have endured a calamity, or you are simply down and out, the world appears utterly bleak to you. Yet, the same world simultaneously appears full of magic to someone freshly in love. We tend to blame people, situations or the state of affairs of our world for our experiences; we put the cause outside ourselves. In reality it works the other way round. We attract or get mirrored our state of mind through interaction with our environment. A shift in emotions, a shift in beliefs and values, shifts how we experience everything around us.
Looking at your experiences, your life, from this amazing perspective opens up a world of possibilities for spiritual growth.
'tis the season - stress less, enjoy more
I have to remind myself of that between writing Christmas cards, buying presents (we have simplified our life by buying only for the children in our family – it’s not like the adults need more stuff), attending school concerts (I like those, the atmosphere is always very festive, and music inevitably boosts my mood), daughter telling me we need to bake Christmas cookies (I don’t need that stress in my life right now), planning her birthday party (Harry Potter this year, can’t do away with the birthday party, for sure), and various Christmas and New Year’s dinners (that’s with people, but of course it is easier on me if we get invited than if I have to do the inviting, and planning, and cooking). 
So, the part I really enjoy about all of this, always, ever – is the people, the conviviality, the togetherness, the sharing. I like a good conversation over reasonably good food and wine (I am not too picky when get invited, that is a real treat in itself). Think about it – it really is about our relationships and interactions with people. The other holiday stuff we fill our lives with is self-induced stress brought on by social conventions and feelings of obligation. So it is good to pick and do that which brings us joy and satisfaction and eliminate the rest from our life (I wished I could eliminate all the chauffeuring I do for the kids in the afternoons, it makes for a very unproductive part of my day).
Black Wednesday?
Ever since our evolution away from a nomadic lifestyle to a life in permanent settlements we have lived out the economic misconception of scarcity, believing that there is not enough to go around, and that only “the fittest survive.” Among many other apparitions this cultural delusion is responsible for the Black Friday – and now Black Thursday - phenomenon. Instead of spending meaningful and quality time with family and friends, many now rush out of the house even before Thanksgiving Day is over, to stand in line, fight the crowds, and feed the big box stores some more money, truly believing that there won’t be another deal around, that “it’s now or never.”
We vote with our spending dollars. How about voting instead for local merchants who add diversity, creativity, and a sense of community to our lives - and enjoying your turkey dinner a little longer, too? Otherwise we’ll have Black Wednesday soon.
the busy trap
Being busy for the sake of being busy ……Tim Kreider wrote in the NY Times recently how we worship busyness as a virtue and are addicted to it. Yet, it fills life with meaningless activity, and I have caught myself at it. Checking Facebook or email five times a day, snacking, driving around shopping, hovering over the children, staying late at the office because of peer pressure (because working hard is a virtue here in America, right?), even when the day’s work is done. Busyness is not only a mechanism of procrastination, but also a shield against delving deeper into life in general, filling emptiness with busyness. I say “work smart” not “hard,” and fill the rest of your time with meaning. It’s quality that counts, not quantity.