life is here to make you better, not bitter

That's what my yoga teacher said the other day.  It's important to realize that people don't do things and or say things to annoy you.  People do whatever they do, and say whatever they say, from the perspective of their own emotional needs.

We all have common universal emotional needs, such as the needs for love, shelter, safety, nourishment, sleep; and we have more individualistic emotional needs for say beauty, peace, creativity, order, quiet, connection, community and so on.

We usually operate in an egocentric world and thus live from the perspective of our individual needs.   When those needs are not recognized or met we tend to get irritated, annoyed, impatient, angry, or even furious.  These emotions signal our own, not the other person's unmet needs.

When my daughter does her math homework slowly, methodically, not too neatly, I tend to become impatient and raise the tone of my voice.  That signals my unmet need for neatness and organization, and my self-imposed desire to get on with it and on to other activities.  I need to remind myself that I irritate myself, my daughter doesn't irritate me for the sake of irritating me.

So, instead of becoming bitter at others for supposedly annoying us all day long, hassling us, wanting to irritate and frustrate us, bitter at what life throws in our way, let's dig a bit deeper into those emotions.  Let them make us better, more compassionate and understanding.

on sustainability

You may wonder what all the buzz is with sustainability and "green" practices and what it actually means. Most of our current manufacturing processes are linear, energy intense and they create waste, thus damaging the environment one way or the other. Just imagine how corn flakes are made (not that I'm an expert). The various ingredients - GMO corn (oh no), food coloring (just saying), high-fructose corn syrup (oh well), preservatives and additives (ahem) - have to be shipped to the corn flakes factory from various locations at the expense of a lot of energy (trucking, gas) and packaging material. The packaging waste of the corn flakes ingredients goes into the garbage or recycling (if we are lucky) stream. Then the cereal is being manufactured (don't like that word for food) by machines with high energy input and some waste products (waste water, steam and fumes, and who knows what else). After that it gets packaged into sealed inner plastic bags and outer cardboard boxes (another high energy/high supply input process) and shipped to distributors (trucking, gas - you get the picture), after that to the supermarkets, where they have to recycle or throw away the pallets/shrink wrap/outer cartons. Finally the cereal gets purchased, and the retail packaging goes into the waste (the inside plastic pouch) or gets recycled (the exterior cardboard box).   Overall it's a process that requires huge material and energy inputs all along and creates enormous waste and pollution.

A sustainable process should require no exterior input of energy or material. It is a cyclical and wasteless process that repeats itself indefinitely without damage or side effects to the environment. The easiest example of such a process is a vegetable garden. If we save the seeds from one year to the next, if we fertilize with compost created from organic home and garden waste, if we use manual labor to tend to it, it becomes a wasteless indefinitely renewable cycle that requires no outside energy or product purchase other than elbow grease. All natural cycles are thus sustainable. Permaculture is such a sustainable agricultural/cultural system (please refer to an earlier post on permaculture).

On the homefront the better our houses are insulated for example, the less outside energy we need to introduce to heat and cool them, and the more sustainable the home energy cycle becomes. The Passivhaus is a residential building concept with such stringent insulation specifications that the house retains a constant temperature and requires no heating system (heating the hot water is another story, and energy to run appliances and lighting is yet another). A Passivhaus also takes into account the heat output from lights, people, and appliances in its energy calculations. There is also a zero-energy house, which is sustainable and generates its own energy needs. A zero energy house may include a geothermal heating/cooling system, solar panels to offset the electrical needs, LED lighting (the lightbulbs are good for 50,000 hours!!! - something like 20 years, and consume minimal energy), triple-pane windows (see a previous post), and a few other new cutting edge mechanical systems, in addition to superior insulation.

Sustainable is the way to go, it is gentle on the planet!

we can buy calories but not real nourishment

That's what Charles Eisenstein wrote. Since my last blog post was about the importance of feeding the soul, in that case through mantras, I'll continue a bit along those lines. Gaining nourishment from food is a many-layered process that includes a lot more than counting the calories of a meal or dissecting its nutritional content. Those are quantifying analyses. But the soul also gets nourishment from the qualitative aspects in and around food.

What might those elements be? The first thing that comes to mind has to do with how the food grew, was or was not processed, and how it was made. Vegetables and fruits grown in healthy and mineral rich soil on a small farm with loving care, grown without -ides (pesti-, insecti-, fungi-), harvested at the height of their ripe- or readyness, and used for cooking as soon as possible after harvesting, is incredibly nourishing to body and soul. Its intrinsic quality is so much more complex than produce that was harvested before ripening (bananas, peaches, tomatoes grown on large farms all get harvested before their prime to ensure unsquooshed arrival at the supermarket), had to be shuttled cross country or across continents, and then sits in the supermarket for another few days, before making it to our fridge, where it sits yet another few days. Same goes for meat, for those who do eat meat.  It matters in what surroundings the animal was kept, how it was handled, what it was fed, and how it met its end.  That quality, which we introduce into our body, has an influence on our spirit.

Other elements that add a more ethereal quality to the food we eat are the care and love and interest with which we prepare and cook the food. A lovingly prepared and composed dish will have a better energetic quality than a quickly slapped together microwaved meal. Your homemade jar of jam has so much more qualitative depth than one from the supermarket that's been made industrially.

Lastly, the context within which we eat the meal can nourish the soul. A nicely set table helps; taking the time to sit down as a family for a meal sets a comforting and warm tone of togetherness for the day or evening; and sharing a leisurely meal with friends imbues the food with a different meaning than eating alone.  And just think of those special holiday meals coming up soon.

Also look back at my post "food, glorious food."

feeding the body, feeding the soul

I am currently - sort of (on and off) - doing Deva Premal & Miten's 21-day mantra journey.  During the introduction to Day 5 Miten points out that just as we feed the body (with food obviously, but perhaps also with exercise and fresh air) we also need to feed the soul, that other part of us.  We can feed our soul in all sorts of ways.  I think anything that emphasizes the quality of life feeds the soul, such as beauty, friendship, love or serenity (did you notice that these are all things money can't buy?). Mantra chanting, as Miten explained, is one such soul food.  In the German September 2013 issue of GEO was a small article on the benefits of singing together.  Researchers discovered that the hearts of a group of mantra singers beat in synchronicity.  The controlled breathing of mantra chanting, similar to the controlled breathing practised in yoga, slows the heartbeat down and strengthens it, which is so beneficial.  When a group chants mantras together each individual melds into the group togetherness through the common synchronized heartbeat.   Neat!

there's no food!

At least that's what my son keeps telling me.  "Mom, there is no food in the fridge/pantry!"  He doesn't mean that there is literally nothing in the fridge or pantry.  He means that there are no little packages and baggies with portion size snacks he can just help himself to. The thing is, I cook from scratch.  So fridge and pantry are stocked with "basics" to create meals, such as legumes, grains, canned tomatoes, flour and so on.  That's indeed pretty unsatisfying for someone looking for a quick snack.  "You are so European, mom," he says, the idea being that Europeans don't snack as much as we do over here.

So then - what about healthy unpackaged snacks?  My daughter has recently taken to making "quick nachos" by simply grating cheese over some tortilla chips and broiling them in the oven for a few minutes.  Other wholesome "from-scratch" afternoon snack ideas for hungry school children are apple slices with pea/nut butter and/or chocolate/hazelnut paste, oven broiled cinnamon toasts, oven broiled cheese toasts, yogurt/ricotta cheese with honey and sunflower seeds, a few chunks of cheddar and some fruit, crackers with hummus, nuts with raisins or dried cranberries.  There you go - we do have food.

here's some magic

What about pragmatism?  What about rational-analytical thinking and the glorification of science?  What about pushing our emotions under the rug, or believing our Western culture to be superior to or more evolved than indigenous cultures? These beliefs are all a reflection of the loss of the spiritual, the loss for an appreciation of the mystical, the wonderment of life.  When I was little Christmas was so full of glitter and magic and mystery.  My sister and I would even climb into the attic in the middle of the year to open up the Christmas boxes and look at the sparkly ornaments to try to recapture some of that magic (but it works better when it's cold outside, the candles are lit and it smells like cinnamon and cloves).

Life is so one-sided, so devoid of sparkle without this magic - so, well, pragmatic.   But the magic is there, it's right in front of your eyes.  Whether the sparkle of a Christmas ornament, the glistening of rain drops on a leaf, or the shiny beauty and perfection of these red peppers - it's really quite magical.  It pays to tune into the magic because it's everywhere around you!

an attitude of gratitude

How about thinking of life as a gift, as author Charles Eisenstein suggests?  What an extraordinary opportunity, what a biological coincidence, what a marvel that you find yourself incarnated in this body, in this place, during these times which Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker has called the most peaceful on earth yet (despite what the media coverage might suggest). Think about this opportunity as a gift to experience life on this beautiful earth, a gift to express your spiritual self in this three dimensional realm through all the things you do, a gift to share your life with all the people you choose to have around you.  This perspective creates an attitude of a half full glass instead of a half empty glass, an attitude of gratitude, an attitude of joy, amazement and wonder.  Research suggests that people with a positive outlook on life, a good social network, and a can-do attitude have a longer life expectancy.  So from that perspective alone it's worth it.

What if life were really only about the actual experience and joy of being?

feet feet feet

Next on my very informal review of a few alternative healing therapies is reflexology, a therapeutic foot massage. Reflexology, or something close to it, was used both in ancient Egypt and ancient China.  Like many other alternative therapies it is a therapy that has been around for quite some time and we are re/discovering it in our search for less invasive, more gentle, and less expensive treatment methods than the allopathic (conventional) medical system.  Reflexology is a massage therapy and energy healing system applied to specific points under the feet and based on the assumption that specific areas of the foot soles relate to specific organs and areas of the body.  

Similar to acupuncture, reflexology too aims to rebalance the body's energy flow, which in turn promotes healing.  Most of all reflexology is extremely relaxing.  If you believe nothing else about it, you will come out of a one-hour session very relaxed and content.

For more information check out the Reflexology Association of America, the New York State Reflexology Association and the American Reflexology Certification Board.

the sacredness of things

Mass production takes the sacredness and magic out of things.  It makes them cheap.  One-of-a-kind things, like artwork or a hand made craft or a knitted sweater, or even an apple pie made from scratch, are infused with the imprint of the maker.  Such an item has a totally different energy than say that cheap plastic mug with its advertising logo, which ends up first as a pencil cup (although, annoyingly, it keeps tipping over), or as a brush cup (the weight of the water keeps it standing), but then inevitably gets thrown away or at least recycled.

Why do you hesitate to throw away your high schooler's clay bowl she made in 3rd grade?  Why can't I get myself to throw the chocolate rose away my son gave me in 2nd grade for Mother's Day, and which has been sitting in our dining room cabinet for eight years now?  Because these things are infused with significance and meaning.

But I am ruthless with cheap stuff we seem to collect - useless Disney key chains (how many key chains do you need?), plastic Lei from some party long ago which lost their magic the morning after, too many t-shirts with logos and pictures to advertise someone else's cause, plastic toys too ugly and cheap to save for future generations.

Buy less, but buy thoughtful, or make it.

forget your watch

I did not take a watch on our recent camping trip.    It really did not matter what time I woke up and climbed out of the tent, what time I sipped tea and ate breakfast, what time I went biking or ate lunch.  You can actually tell pretty accurately by the sun's standing in the sky and the quality of the sunlight about what time it is  - not that it really matters when you're on vacation.  It is nice to just let yourself float through the day by your feelings of hunger or need for rest or activity. The accounting of time and its equation with money rob time of its magical qualities - and us of our connection with nature.  Charles Eisenstein wrote that John Zerzan thought "Clocks make time scarce and life short."  Remember when childhood summer afternoons stretched languorously and lazily into eternity?  I am sure it has happened to you that you had to get something specific done in a fairly short amount of time - and managed somehow magically to accomplish it within that tight timeframe.   Swedish children's book author Astrid Lindgren wrote in The Children of Noisy Village that it is those endless Christmas Eve afternoons that are responsible for our gray hair because those afternoons stretch on forever and ever and ever.  And you might have seen Salvador Dalí's famous painting of the stretchy clocks.

It's Labor Day  week-end.  Put your watch away and enjoy time without counting it.