less gifts, more love

Our Christmas present list used to be very long and I used to start Christmas shopping around October/November to enjoy December more. That is one solution to the Christmas gift quandary and the December stress spike. "My life is a rat race, haven't even started Christmas shopping. Only have teachers' gifts done. Gotta get going. Feeling pressure!!!!!!" a friend recently posted. All that pressure, all those obligations we feel piled on top of us take away from the sparkly twinkly holiday spirit we all remember from childhood and want back so much.

it's all in the presentation

We have pared our Christmas gift giving down drastically, not because we don't love our family members any less, but because I love myself more, and it makes me less hassled in December. I remember how hard it used to be to find meaningful presents for my father-in-law, or my own grandparents. And even my dad had enough socks and books and sweaters and did not need another scarf for Christmas.

My husband and I have agreed with both our families that we adults don't need more stuff and to limit Christmas gift giving to each other and the closest children in the family. I send flowers to my parents and pictures of the family, but no more presents bought hastily under stress and duress. Time together or a telephone call is more important.

homemade mustard

An idea I love for simple gifts is homemade foods, cookies, pickles, mustards, jams. If you are someone who makes these throughout the year simply plan ahead, make a little more and put your goodies into pretty jars and containers. All done.

I do as much of the gift shopping for the children as I can locally (love all the little craft stores, their presents are unique, local gift certificates are great, too), and teachers get beautifully tinned cookies or chocolates, which I buy way ahead of time when I am out and about anyhow. Et voilà, very little stress, all done with my Christmas shopping as I write this.  And one last thing - the presentation is at least as important as the present (meaning, you can dress up a humble gift and make it that much more special - more on that in a previous post).

sliding into holiday mode

I love melding traditions. We do not celebrate Thanksgiving in Europe. But I have come to embrace this wonderful holiday wholeheartedly as a gateway to Advent, since the 1st Advent usually falls on the Sunday right after Thanksgiving.   This past week-end began with pumpkins and ended with our German Advent wreath. When I was little and still living in Germany the much anticipated 4-week period before Christmas was filled with baking Christmas cookies, eagerly awaiting St. Nicholas (who comes during the night of December 5 to December 6 and puts goodies into shoes the children leave outside their door before going to bed), going to Christmas concerts, having Advent Tea (or coffee, or cocoa) with Stollen, the German Christmas cake, and Lebkuchen, the traditional southern German Christmas cookies, on the four Sundays before Christmas while sitting by candle light and singing Christmas carols or playing Christmas music.  

Transparentpapiersterne

We would gather around the dining table and make straw star ornaments and transparent paper snowflakes to attach to the windows. When we were older we would spray beechnut and chestnut shells, which look like four-sided stars when fully open, silver or gold. And my mother would spray whole walnuts as well as eucalyptus branches with their pods silver or gold, which all make festive decorations.

Advent calendars are becoming more common here and my own teenage children have not yet outgrown this custom.   My parents had explained to me that it would be Christmas once all the doors were open. In my wisdom I opened all doors at the same time and asked my parents whether it was now Christmas.

My daughter is baking Christmas cookies from a German Christmas cookbook as I write this. But I probably have to wait to be a grandmother to make straw stars again.

Also look back on a previous Advent post.

pie night

Family traditions are wonderful. They have so much meaning because they are particular to each family and therefore unique. You can even create your own, modify the ones from your family, or simply keep the ones you like and pass them down to your children.  Holiday traditions also ground you in your cultural heritage. And what's best about beloved family traditions is that you can look forward to them each year because they will keep coming back again and again. There is comfort in knowing that and traditions give you a sense of belonging, something that is even more important for children than for adults. My husband's family used to do Pie Night on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. All the pies for Thanksgiving dinner for 35 or so people would be made that night. Crazy! It was my husband's dad who was in charge. Pie night was his thing. It was a beloved family tradition for many many years, especially the children loved it of course. So many pies would be made that people could take leftovers home.

We have been trying to keep Pie Night, but seem to have to modify it each year to accommodate busy work schedules. This year we are having three Pie Nights. It is important for us that everything gets made from scratch, and since the crusts are all different there is no way to shorten the process assembly line style - hence three nights.  Last night, on Pie Night #1, we made cranberry tartes. Tonight, on Pie Night #2, we will make maple syrup pie and pumpkin pie with hazelnuts, and tomorrow,on Pie Night #3, we will make apple galettes.

What Thanksgiving traditions do you cherish?

clutter outside - clutter inside?

Clutter and mess, or not?  Clutter and mess promote creativity, they say, while neatness and tidiness are associated with conventionalism.   Yet, according to feng shui principles clutter and mess keep stale and stagnant energy around, whereas uncluttering and tidying up let fresh energy stream in and open up new possibilities.

The basement in our old house was definitely not a creative space any longer. It was stuffed to the ceiling with stuff, so much stuff that we ended up with duplicates and triplicates of tools and stuff because we couldn't find our stuff. We got rid of a lot of stuff when we moved. And as soon as we were in the new house my husband meticulously and methodically organized the carefully selected leftovers  with shelving units and hanging organizers. Now it feels really good to walk into the basement and actually find what you are looking for instead of rummaging around and walking back up in frustration because you couldn't find those pliers or screws you knew you had somewhere.

I always wonder about the connection between clutter in your mind and clutter in your home or office.   Clutter also has to do with a fear of letting go - you never know when you might need that stuff.  And feng shui has a lot to say about clutter and where you have it.  I find cleaning up and uncluttering quite liberating because you can literally see clearly again.

Messiness, while in the act of creating something specific, has definitely its creative purpose. But some organization in your everyday life is not only useful but downright refreshing and even necessary (there - that fresh chi energy).   Can't find that spice you wanted to use in your rub, can't find that black sweater that goes with those green pants, can't find that book you were just talking about with your friend? Time to make room, clear out, unclutter, organize, and get that fresh chi moving. I am convinced it clears your mind, too.

it doesn't get better than that

The looming holiday season fills many of us with stress and dread and a sense of obligation, especially if we are the one hosting. My mother-in-law used to have between 35 and 45 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner every year. The preparations for hosting so many people are daunting for sure, and sometimes she would say "never again" the night before Thanksgiving.   We, of course, oblivious at the time of the long-term planning that goes into such an event, always looked forward to those big gatherings. It's nice to dress up, it's nice to see Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Charles again, it's neat to see how much the kids have grown, it's fun to taste all those traditional family recipes again.  It's also just simply wonderful to belong to this big crowd of family and friends. And the ritual of celebrating an annual holiday again and again grounds us in the seasons and in the circularity of natural cycles. I find it truly comforting. Relationships - being with others, sharing a meal, having good conversations - are one of the greatest mood enhancers. A strong network of friends, a good support structure, doing things in community or with friends all do more for your health than doctor's visits and pills. We thrive on relationships, on acceptance, on community, on activities with others.  We love to be cared for, we love to belong.

Of course we need to take turns playing both roles - host and invitee, otherwise it's no fun for everyone else. But as long as it all balances out in the end I take the work of being on the giving end in stride. After all - if I don't give I won't receive. Besides, I actually love having people over, making them feel cared for, choreographing an evening of togetherness to create an environment of mutual enjoyment. It's quite exhilarating to create the backdrop for so much pleasure.   Life doesn't get better than that!

to do or not to do

             Oftentimes I feel guilty when I am not doing something.   Our culture makes us believe that we have to be "productive," productive in the economic sense.   But this morning I caught myself just staring out of the window into the first snow of the season and admiring the landscape, and admiring the beauty, and .....just being, being content and in awe and enjoying myself without doing anything. Doing something with intent is fine, but doing something because we believe we should be busy all the time for the sake of being busy, not so much. A common dialogue when running into someone we know goes something like this: A: "How's it going? What have you been up to?" B: "Oh, I've been busy." Being busy has become a virtue, and when you are not busy you are lazy - and who wants to be called lazy?

If it weren't for that relentless cultural and economic nudge I would spend my days reading and sipping tea and seeing friends, and eating of course. That's a whole lot of being and not so much doing. Going deep, going within, being still, taking a moment to not do is very settling, it's grounding.

"Ebola's mystery...

...one boy dies, another lives." This was a headline in yesterday's NY Times.  But is it Ebola that is mysterious? Is the flu mysterious? Some people get the flu, some don't, and some even die of it. So it goes with all afflictions. Maybe the mystery lies elsewhere, although it is typical of our present culture to see the mystery in Ebola, in the flu, and in any event outside of ourselves.

But every person is unique, everyone comes with a different agenda or predisposition into this life, everyone deals with situations differently, everyone lives in unique and individual surroundings.

We seek predictability from science, we want the same test results validated again and again to "prove" something scientifically. We want to believe that a certain treatment will result in the same repeatable healing mechanism. But it doesn't!   Our immune systems are unique, our mental patterns are personalized, our healing mechanisms are individual and unique.  Instead of trying to shoehorn the effects of treatments into supposedly predictable outcomes, which they don't, how about looking at healing as a personal and individual process that is unique to each one of us?

I believe that the mystery lies in our human nature, not in Ebola.

a better world?

Are you happy with the current state of affairs? If the answer is yes read no further. If the answer is no, please keep reading.

Have you ever pondered how things get to where they're at? Do you believe it's the politicians' fault?  Or the corporations' fault? Or everyone else's?  Maybe you're not sure.

We like to blame because we don't really like to be responsible. It's easy that way. We're off the hook. However, that perpetuates the status quo. Change can only happen if we do something. Remember what JFK said so famously: "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."  

If you are tired of your old job you need to do something in order to find a new one. You need to get your resume together, you need to put the word out, you need to research potential companies, and, most importantly, you need to formulate what this new job is supposed to look like. WHAT DO YOU WANT? If you put wishy washy out there, wishy washy will come back.   Imagining what your perfect job looks like in detail, and then focusing on only those companies that are suitable, will get you much better results than simply complaining that you don't like your job.

So it is with the rest of life. You have more power than you think. But you have to do something to effect change. And you have to imagine what exactly you want.

yummy soil

Big-food (the industrial food producers) attempts to compare the difference between organic and non-organic food by asking the wrong questions (on purpose) - whether organics taste any different from non-organics, and whether there is a difference in the nutritional content. Tastewise there may or may not be much of a difference. Regarding the nutritional content, if you simply count the calories and other building blocks you may not find that much of a difference either. The most important difference between organics/biodynamics (a sort of Über organics - see a previous post on that) and non-organics has to do with soil and micronutrients.

For one, non-organic produce has pesticide residue on the outside. But perhaps more importantly, non-organic produce grows in depleted soil that must be enhanced with chemical fertilizer. And to top if off (pun intended), it gets treated topically with fungicides, pesticides and herbicides, all of which seep into the soil. The produce then absorbs this chemical cocktail through the roots, which becomes part and parcel of the produce you eat, an issue the two questions diplomatically leave aside.

Soil that gets enhanced naturally with manure and compost is inherently much richer in minerals and trace elements and devoid of chemical toxins. You know if you have such soil in your home garden if it is dark and crumbly and full of happy little creepy crawlies. It should look like Mississippi Mud Pie. Produce that grows in such Mississippi Mud Pie soil is in turn much richer in minerals and trace elements. It is this richness that makes such food packed with real nutritional value.  Not only is it much more nourishing, we also need to eat less of it (!) to feel satisfied. No empty calories here.

So even though our soil has been depleting steadily with the advent and the spreading of industrial agriculture over the past hundred or so years, it is still better for our health to opt for organically, or better yet, biodynamically grown produce and grains.

All Saints' Eve

Jack-o-lanterns, costumes, haunted houses, creepy movies, trick-or-treating, scaring the bad spirits away, remembering the dead, honoring the saints, thinking of deceased family members - what a mishmash of Christian, Celtic and pagan traditions on these three days October 31, November 1 and November 2. Remembering the dead, our ancestors, or recently deceased family members (people and animals) is not only an opportunity to honor them and cherish their memory, but also a way to reconnect with the reality of life as a natural element in the larger cycle that inevitably includes death. Because of our current linear way of understanding time (there are other ways to understand time), with a beginning and an end, we see death as final. And that is scary. And the more we ignore and sweep that part of life under the rug the scarier it becomes. Since dying is part of being human, being alive, participating here in this earth experience, we may as well celebrate this aspect.

It may help to remember that all natural processes are circular and cyclical and that death might not be as final as we tend to think in our culture. A tree loses its leaves every fall and is reborn every spring for many many cycles. And even when a tree finally dies it eventually turns to humus, which nourishes and feeds new seeds and tree shoots, and thus the tree reenters the never-ending cycle of life and death anew. We are no different.

Let's celebrate life this week-end, let's celebrate death. It's all part of the same thing. Happy Halloween!