powering down

"Den Computer herunterfahren," means shutting down the computer.  However, the literal translation from German to English is "to drive it down."  Just like a computer powers down slowly - you hear it doing all kinds of internal things for a while before it actually shuts down for good - we need in-between spaces between high-powered activities and slower ones.  A normal mortal can't go directly from a corporate meeting into meditation.  Neither can we go from work mode to evening mode, or from evening mode to sleep mode, without a gradual slowing down mechanism.  Otherwise the more frenetic frequency bleeds into the slower activity, and prevents us from being fully present in the now, like when my husband's work experiences from the day keep popping up in our evening conversation.

After I shut my computer for the day I create a transition period by sitting down and looking at the newspaper, perhaps having a sip of tea, before going into dinner prep mode.  Before turning the lights off and going to sleep I usually read in bed, if only for a few minutes, just to slow down further.  Before beginning a meditation you slowly and gradually turn inward by becoming more aware of your breath and turning away from external stimuli.

You probably need the same in-between space in the morning to power up, whether it's your coffee ritual, your wake-up shower, or the morning commute that takes you out of home mode into work mode.

It's good to become aware of these transition modes, to traverse them with awareness, and enjoy the powering up or down.  It helps to transition from one particular Now into the next particular Now without having a foot left in the last Now.

delicious words

Words can be expressive beyond their attributed meaning.  While we associate a specific meaning with the word flour, the word itself is not exactly remarkable.  But there are words beyond those mundane ones like flour, or dog, or tree.

An onomatopoeia is the first kind of word that comes to mind when I'm thinking of fun words, delicious words, words that taste good in my mouth when I say them out loud, or that are delightful in my mind when I read them.  An onomatopoeia is a word based on the sound it expresses.  Yikes is such a word - it sounds like lightening strikes.  When you hear meow you can imagine that cute kitty sidling up to your leg and talking to you, and you can hear that croaking frog croaking when you read the word ribbit.

Of course there are synonyms for the word delicious, and they are delicious in their own right.  Taste them in your mouth, slowly - luscious, scrumptious, or ambrosial.

Then there are delicious words that convey such a wonderful experiences that I call them delicious.  Enjoy these words for wonderful feelings - exuberant, tickled, giddy, glorious, euphoric, on cloud nine, in seventh heaven, elated, and enraptured.  Wouldn't you want to feel like that?  Now savor some words for wonderful sights - exquisite, fantastic, stupendous, wondrous, and sublime.   Just leaves me speechless....

To close, here are words of mysterious meaning because they are so uncommon that we don't know them, hence can't use them.  Enjoy these funny sounding words -  absquatulate, bobsy-die, floccinaucinihilipilification, haruspex, kinnikinnick, luculent, ogdoad, peely-wally, snollygoster, and finally triskaidekaphobia.  Just delicious....

we need people

Going it alone is not the way to a long and fulfilled life.  We live longer when we have a good social network, and emotional support from friends and family is not only an important quality of life component, but also better for your health and mental wellbeing.  With life expectancy on the up and up our prospects for a long life are further improving if we can develop and maintain a solid social network.

 But building one, and then keeping it alive, takes work.  It's pretty easy to make friends anywhere you go on a regular basis, where you run into the same people over and over.  Any committee in your community, that does something that tickles your fancy, will do, any organization with regular meetings, any cultural or sports activity around town, all sorts of school activities (if you are a parent of younger children), church or temple of course, gyms and exercise classes, community events - so many opportunities.  For retired people volunteering is really meaningful because it feels good to help and be useful.

Maintaining your network is key to remaining engaged and always having a good social network to draw on.  In order to get invited you need to invite, in order to have a conversation you need to engage, in order to remain in your friends' minds you need to remind them.  And kindness follows you.  Call, send birthday wishes, ask your friends to do something with you, drop by their house for tea, offer your help.   It's reciprocal.  If you don't reach out they may forget you or think you are not interested. 

feel good hormones

              Some childlike part in me loves to discover - berries, bargains, golf balls.  I get such simple pleasure out of spying ripe red raspberries among the green leaves of the raspberry bushes and plucking them to fill a bowl of these delicate treasures.  When our kids were little we used to go for walks near a golf course.  There I had as much fun looking for lost golf balls in the grass and under trees, lurking in the grass like a white or yellow, or sometimes even bright orange, Easter egg, as my children did.  I also get the same pleasure out of finding that special inexpensive, and fashionable, bargain at a second hand store, or that unexpected find at a yard sale or thrift store.

            Presumably these discoveries release oxytocin and dopamine, the feel good hormones, that scientists discovered are also triggered when we get "likes" on social media.  Which mundane everyday activities trigger feel good hormones for you?

love thyself

            At the beginning of a flight they often announce that, should oxygen masks be required, mothers put theirs on before helping their child.  We need to be in a good place in order to be nice to others and help each other.  A modicum of self-care, therefore, is not egoistic or self-centered, or even a luxury, but a smart thing -  as a grounding base and for basic physical and mental wellbeing. 

            Self-care does not mean that you are supposed to spend gobs of money on massages, lunches out, facials and manicures, or toys for the boys - those are all excuses for spending money, unless you've got lots of it.  Self-care is special time with yourself, away from family, away from chores - for mental sanity and balance.   You can practice self-care in many different ways, many of them without spending a dime.  Going for a contemplative walk by yourself can be self-care, simply making yourself a cup of tea and taking a break in the middle of the day could be self-care (one of my favorites), having a regular meditation session is definitely self-care, if you are a busy parent date night out with your partner is self-care, if you are a busy business person date night out with your partner is self-care, taking  a weekend nap can be self-care, going to bed early on occasion is self-care, taking a long leisurely bath is self-care.   It's good to get away from rut and chores, and just think about your own enjoyment for a bit.

            We are also better able to love others when we love ourselves first, able to give more if we are in a good place.  I suppose you have you heard that one before.  Do you have a regular self-care practice?

so serendipitous

             Serendipity is my new favorite thing in life.  "The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way," is how the Oxford Dictionary defines it.  Serendipity seems to occur the more we refrain from trying so hard, from steering life too much.  Oftentimes I want something specific for lack of a better imagination, or for lack of the courage to imagine something bigger and better yet.  But when we try to will a predictable outcome we actually discourage the universe from bringing us the best of its abundance and fabulousness, we put the brakes on, w choke the energy.

            I just love it when the universe brings forth something unexpected that is way better than what I could have envisioned on my own.  Both our children found their first cars in completely serendipitous ways; exactly when they needed them, for the price they could afford, from people we could trust.  In the spring the perfect paid summer internship in Europe manifested for our son out of nowhere. And recently the possibility of producing a documentary from my book came about- something that was completely outside of my realm of imagination.

            When things like these happen my enthusiasm bubbles over and I am in awe of the amazingness of the world.  How have you experienced serendipity?

my black dirt dinner

            "Take off your shoes," she nudged me, and I did.  "Have you ever walked on black dirt?" she wanted to know.  How lucky am I to get to feel the soft and slightly moist, gorgeously rich black dirt, under my bare feet on this fabulously beautiful morning, and pick my dinner? 

            Ahead of regular market hours, the farm sent an email inviting their regulars to come and pick the first greens of the season directly in the field.  They said "any time after nine." I jumped at the opportunity.  Sure, I get my share of greens from my coop and various other places during the cold months (produce that comes from the other side of the country).  But local greens, freshly picked on the farm (by me on top of it) - soooo much better.   Rhubarb, baby turnips (the greens are the healthiest part!), broccoli rabe, spinach, and Persian cucumbers from the greenhouse, are my loot from this morning.

       All of you who are avid gardeners might mildly smile at my excitement as you walk out your door and into your vegetable garden to pick your dinner.  As a transplanted city girl with an herb patch and a few eggplant and kale plants for good measure, I am excited.  The remembrance of this morning's black dirt expedition will live in tonight's dinner.  Deep food - it's all about the experience.

scent of a guava

            Don't judge a book by its cover, they say.   This unassuming little fruit, a guava, which I picked up out of curiosity at a Walmart, of all places, has a beguiling, strong, and very particular scent.  

            Scent adds so much depth and pleasure to an experience.  In this case, the clamshell with eight or so small guavas scented our entire kitchen for a few days, and later on the compost pail from the cut-off top bits.  I have seen the scent described as musky, which is perhaps why I found it quite addicting.  But I also found it very florally perfumy.

            Our sense of taste is informed by our sense of smell, hence you can't taste when you have a cold.  But because we are so visual we often give what we see more importance than the messages of our other senses.  But the sight of these guavas is not exactly special.  It is the scent that is so attractive, and it is what made me wonder what they actually taste like.   I did remember having eating guava paste, but that is a sorry and sweet treat lacking the lovely brightness of a fresh perfumy guava. 

            Realtors talk about the power of the smell of fresh baked apple pie in closing a house sale, and specific scents can bring memories back in a powerful way.   Smells or scents add so much to our aliveness, to the depth of how we know the world.

quality over quantity

           Racing through the calendar from one appointment to the next, breathlessly looking at the next event as something else to check off the to-do list, makes death your final appointment.  "I made it!"

            But it's too late then to wake up to the realization that your life was one mad dash to the finish line.   Lately, we were caught in a mad routine between accommodating our daughter's many early evening activities, my occasional evening meetings, our tango lessons, and my husband's attempts to return on time for them from a busy workday.  It became stressful and our quality of life suffered, especially trying to get dinner in there somewhere, hopefully before the tango lesson, after our daughter's evening activity, before my evening meeting, attempting to eat together, and making a home cooked meal from scratch.........................you get it - exhausting. 

            Meaning comes from the quality of what we do, whether it's tango, taekwondo, or the made-from-scratch meal.  For us the tango had to go, at least for now.  It was just too much.  We had to choose quality over quantity, depth over breadth...............................Here an earlier related blog post "slow that train down."

P.S. Susanne's book DEEP LIVING is now out - buy it on Amazon.

setting the tone

         In some cultures wedding dates, company incorporation dates, or official opening dates for a commercial endeavor get vetted astrologically to ensure the stars are in good alignment, and the date and time are auspicious and promise a bright future. 

         Regardless of whether you believe in astrology or not, setting the tone for an event or an endeavor, I believe, does make a difference.  Sending out good energy, setting a clear direction in your mind for a new beginnings, or the tone for the New Year, matters because intent sends out forward energy.

         We had a private book launching for my book DEEP LIVING and it was a very spirited event, I would even say auspicious.  It's like when your New Year's Eve party is fabulous and it sets a festive and positive tone for the year.  It's like when you give yourself a birthday bash and celebrate yourself and feel good about feeling good.  It's like when you set the table for a special dinner nicely with effort and the intent to make it special.  Set your mind up for success next time you create an event or start on a new endeavor.