it's not about the destination

There are various English versions of the destination verse, which goes something like this: "It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. " When I was a child many girls kept a Poesiealbum or poetry album.   We would give it to people we knew - family, classmates, teachers, acquaintances - and ask them to write something to remember them by. Some of the verses, as I reread them, mostly from classmates, are only memorable because of their utter sillyness, while others (mostly from teachers and family members) are true philosophical musings or really good life advice.

I found one in my album, by 19th century Austrian writer Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach, which is another version of the destination verse. Loosely translated it says: "Upon attaining your wishes you will definitely miss one thing: the  journey towards your wish."

If life were about the destination we would all rush to accomplish - what? Dying? So we can probably all agree that life is not about the destination. But what about all the other little things we do all day long? This morning my yoga class was a bit strenuous and I just wanted it to be over - until I caught myself in mid-stream. And then I recognized that I wasn't doing so badly, and that I was actually gaining strength.

It's not worth doing something if we rush right past it. Granted, there are things we enjoy doing, and there are things we don't enjoy doing; and it's good if you can arrange your life so you can do more things you do enjoy, than things you don't enjoy. But things are easier with less resistance, as I experienced this morning. And when it's over, it's really over. So, stay with the moment, with the experience, because none like it exactly will ever come back.

You may also want to reread an earlier post "why is 'Now' so important?"

the nature of our dualistic world

Living 25 miles from a nuclear power plant (as the crow flies) makes you wonder sometimes. They always say that these facilities are safe - until they are not (think Chernobyl, Fukushima, Three Mile Island).  There simply is no guarantee.

We live in a dualistic world. You may wonder what that is and what that has to do with it? The world we live in exists through its opposites, it exists as a juxtaposition of contraries with all the shades of grey in between. We would not be able to experience dark without the existence of light, we are unable to define love without its opposite evil, we experience sour in comparison to sweet.

When we make a choice in this world, when we vote for something, when we make something happen, inevitably its opposite is brought into existence. That is the way this world functions. We strive for safety, actually we think we can guarantee ever more safety with ever more refined technology. But that's a fallacy, it's a delusion.

When we vote for nuclear power, its positive and negative aspects will inevitably manifest for us. If we don't want to experience its negative aspects - nuclear meltdowns, contamination and radiation catastrophes - we must eliminate the use of nuclear power altogether.

When we vote for the death penalty, we must accept the horrendous reality of botched executions, such as the one in Oklahoma last week. The only way to avoid it is to abolish capital punishment altogether. If we decide that genetic engineering can make positive contributions to the world we must accept its negative flip side. There is no way around it.

Think about it.

right or wrong?

We easily tend to judge something as right or wrong - after all we live in a dualistic world and can't avoid seeing our existence through juxtapositions.  Good and bad, black and white, cold and warm.  It seems only natural to take sides, argue, condemn, judge, and feel bad when someone doesn't share our opinion.  But it helps to see the other person's perspective to understand how silly some arguments are, and how what we thought was "wrong" ends up being "right" from a different viewpoint. Let me put that into perspective.  A few years ago my sister and I had a discussion  over towel drying logistics - this was before I stopped using my clothes dryer.  I argued that dryer dried towels felt so good because they were soft, which conveyed to me the feeling of "freshly washed."  On the contrary, my sister, who doesn't have a dryer, said (most Europeans actually don't).  Her scratchy and stiff line dried towels give her that feeling of "freshly laundered," she explained, because soft towels leave the impression that they have been used and need to be washed.   Ok, point well taken. A few years later, when energy costs went through the roof, I woke up and stopped using my drier in favor of drying racks (air and sunshine are for free, electricity is not) - and lo and behold, my attitude changed 180^o and I found myself adopting her position.

Wars are fought over such "rights" and "wrongs."  We know the familiar arguments over toothpaste tube rolling up, or not, and how to insert the toilet paper roll into the holder, with the paper down the front or the back.  Try putting yourself in the other shoes next time you are ready to judge a person for their nose ring, their opinion, their hair color (blue anyone?), or their religion.

April showers bring May flowers

The grass "popped" and went green from one day to the next this past week-end when the weather suddenly turned warm.  This is when I truly know that spring has sprung.   A warm rain was falling outside.  The next day it snowed and night time temperatures dropped to winter levels.  Now it is pleasant again.  That's April. Spring is about a fresh start, a bit like New Year's, but tied to nature, as opposed to a man-made calendar.  The cycle begins anew.  As a matter-of-fact, when I was little in Germany the school year used to begin in the spring with Easter.  In April the grays and browns of winter slowly give way to spots of color - a bit of tender green here, a white Snowdrop or yellow Narcissus there.  Still timid, but so refreshing.  I open the windows to let the crisp outside air in, so nice after the warm dry indoor winter air.  I look forward to yellow forsythia and soon the pink of luscious magnolia and whites of the fruit trees.  The bolder colors come later, I have to be patient.

The never ending cycle starts again - how reassuring in a chaotic world.  Happy Spring!  Happy Renewal!  Happy Easter!

do not ask your children

“Do not ask your children

to strive for extraordinary lives.

Such striving may seem admirable,

but it is the way of foolishness.

Help them instead to find the wonder

and the marvel of an ordinary life.

Show them the joy of tasting

tomatoes, apples and pears.

Show them how to cry

when pets and people die.

Show them the infinite pleasure

in the touch of a hand.

And make the ordinary come alive for them.

The extraordinary will take care of itself.”

                                                                                    William Martin

more focus, less effort

In yoga we learn to listen in on our body and feel it, to hold a posture for several breaths, and breathe into the muscles that are being worked.   While yoga builds strength over time it is not about straining to push ourselves to the limit, but rather about finding that perfect balance between ease and effort. The best thing I recently became aware of was my yoga teacher's suggestion to notice those particular muscles that do the work during a specific asana or posture, and then to relax all the other muscles that are not involved (especially the facial muscles, which are usually not involved, yet tense up with all the other muscles).  This takes a conscious effort because we tend to tense all the muscles indiscriminately.   But it is quite a revelation to be able to let go of the strain in most of your body and then precisely concentrate on where the effort actually needs to happen.  Instead of being all over the place it takes a lot less effort. 

More focus, less effort - and not only in yoga.

sunshine! warmth! greenery!

I am so ready for spring this year (although I seem to say that every year - take a look at last year's post).   After a long and cold and very snowy (at least in my short recent memory) winter I am  thirsty for comforting warmth, sneeze-inducing sunshine and joyful greenery.  And the signs are definitely there beyond the calendar's spring equinox announcement yesterday. My yoga teacher reminded us yesterday that while birth is synonymous with exuberance, it is also associated with pain.  And shifting from winter to spring is a bit like waking gradually from a deep slumber.   So, when stretching our body in expansiveness, ready for exercise and movement, we need to do so slowly and gradually to prepare ourselves gently for more vigorous exercise and greater energy intake.  So it is good that the temperatures zig-zag up slowly, some days are warmer, some days are still quite cold.  It takes a while for our body to get used to warmer temperatures.

Early spring flowers grow very slowly through the packed wet leaf cover.  The last of the snow is receding in my garden, although it may take until April for the large snow mountains on the big box stores' parking lots to melt away.  This time of year I love to bring some bare fruit tree branches from the garden into the house.   Soon enough, and ahead of nature outside, the buds burst open with tiny leaves. 

Somehow it is always thrilling to watch this reemergence of life.  Ahhhh, another spring, a new beginning, in the eternal cycle of life.

are accidents really accidents?

Someone in my larger circle of acquaintances hated her job and "needed a break."  Guess what happened next?  She broke her ankle and was out on surgery, in a wheel chair, then physical therapy.  She really got her break.

So are accidents really "accidents?"  Do they rain down from the sky haphazardly to the unlucky, or is there more to it?  I realize that some people may be hard pressed to take full responsibility for what is happening to them and considering the possibility that they create their own experiences.  My pet peeve is the lawsuit against McDonald's a while back, when the company was sued by someone who suffered burns when spilling hot coffee all over herself.    Was it really McDonald's fault because the coffee was too hot?  Or was the woman perhaps clumsy or distracted?  So much in our culture is a reaction to avoid taking responsibility.

Henry Grayson, the psychologist who recently wrote Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind, recommends inspecting what an affliction (this word is more encompassing than "illness") either prevents you from doing or permits you to experience.  In the case of my acquaintance the ankle break permitted her to take needed time off from work.  A cold, flu or stomach bug gives your body and mind time to rest (remember - from all the people exposed to the same virus not all get that flu or stomach bug - mmmmhhhh, why is that?).  Also consider that any affliction lavishes you with other peoples' compassion, kind words and care - something we all love to experience, and some people sadly might perhaps only experience when they are sick.

What about other kinds of accidents?  Some accidents may prevent you from driving for several weeks, some may prevent you from using your hand for a while.  These consequences may have particular meaning to you if you ponder your circumstances.  Or they may not and might be karmic.

In the end we all have to come up with our own answers to these kinds of deep and big questions, and those answers are usually very personal.  But they are worthwhile pondering.

glorious color

I love color.  Color in food, color in clothing, color on my walls, color out in nature.  Color makes life sparkle.  Many years ago I tried that architect-designer look wearing lots of black.  But that's stark.  When my son was little the clothing choices for boys in the mainstream stores were pretty much limited to grey, blue and brown - how drab. Of course, color exists only in contrast to black/white, so we need the drabness, the starkness, the dullness to appreciate color all the more.  I think that's why people in cold climates expand in their beingness and start to breathe again when spring comes around, when all that brown-grey-white drabness explodes into greens and pinks and yellows.  It is so joyful.

The other day we got blue potatoes from our food coop.  Besides all the added antioxidants compared to white potatoes (although I simply bought them for variety), they looked so pretty on the table.  Children often like the safe beige-brown diet (bread, noodles, potatoes, meat).  I say I want color on my table.

DSC00192

I also want color in my wardrobe.  While red is my favorite color of all, I also love all greens (from Kermit green to a light limy green), all jewel tones (purple, burgundy, burnt yellow, orange, olive green), and creamy yellows. 

Live a little, make a splash, bring some color in your life, it makes life more cheerful.

heart stuff

"All spirituality is is the path of the heart," says Marianne Williamson. On this Valentine's Day, day of love and day of hearts, let's remember that no amount of material things (diamonds, chocolates, flowers) can replace true expressions of love.

What might those be?  Expressions of love come from an open heart.  A few examples are speaking kind words you really mean ("You always look so pretty,"  "I couldn't have done a better job."), empathetic gestures (a slight touch on the arm, a sweet kiss, a long warm look), encouragement ("I knew you could do this"), true compassion (being a good Samaritan), wanting to be of service ("May I show you how to do this?" or "Is there any way I can help?").

Opening your heart opens your mind and opens your life.  So let's try to be a little spiritual today.