on forgiving

I find forgiveness incredibly important. Forgiveness is the key to avoid carrying grudge, resentment, anger, and all those other unpleasant low frequency feelings around with us, embedded in our cells for ever. It's not about forgetting what happened on this day, not about shoving it under the rug, but forgiving and overcoming helps to move forward. Stuck energy becomes stale. It feels good to let go and release. It makes you feel lighter. Like when you have cried your heart out, then sobbed some, then eventually the tears stopped flowing, and finally you were ready to take a deep breath. It feels so cleansing, so calming, and a bit like a fresh beginning.

the best things in life are free

Recognition, appreciation, love, comfort, understanding, respect - we all thrive on them. What's even better is that they are free. And as a gift they cost nothing. But the deal is this: you have to give first. After that, the more you give, the more you get. For some reason it doesn't work the other way around. You can wait a long time to get if you are unwilling to give first. It's all about opening up, putting yourself out there, going out on a limb, and then enjoying all that comes back.

And it's gratifying both ways, for the recipient as well as the receiver. That's why volunteering is so rewarding. Or gift giving. Or helping. Or praising your employee or student for a job well done.  Do you know how good it feels when someone says to me "how can I help?" That question in itself is a gift. So give, give, and give some more. You may just like what comes back.

a shift, then a gift

Shifts are neat. A shift is when you suddenly think totally differently about something than just moments ago, and can't believe you haven't seen it in that new way all along. You can't seem to force shifts, they just happen - pop! Et voilà, your outlook has changed.

Eeewww, I thought the other morning when I opened the window and saw a swirl of insect eggs stuck to the  window screen. But the swirl was pretty neat in its shape, and I looked closer, wondered, took some pictures - and then my mind went pop. All of a sudden I thought, wait, whatever this is - I get to watch these eggs transform and hatch and do whatever these things do (I think these things are moth eggs). Suddenly eeewww transformed into a gift, a gift from nature. How neat is that!

August energy

After August 1 the energy seems to change for those of us who live in the northeast. August signals the beginning of the waning of summer, even though it is often warm long into the fall. Summer is overripe, as are the tomatoes, peaches and berries, and produce is available in such abundance that we can't prepare and cook it fast enough. Yet, the energy feels a bit melancholical. School summer vacation is past the halfways mark, the first cooler nights crop up, on some days the temperatures are barely reaching the 80s, school supply lists are coming out, some school fall sports are beginning soon, and friends are trickling back into town from their vacations.

In the same way the first part of any trip is oriented out, and we slowly begin to look towards home again on the second part of a trip, August is all about a slow reorientation process back towards regular work and school schedules and the fall. We are not quite there yet, we have a few weeks to go, we are hanging on to summer, but it gets dark noticeably earlier than when summer began.

Let's savor those sweet August weeks to the fullest.

the lightness of summer

Summer has something carefree about it, something lighthearted.   The kids are home from school and college, schedules tend to be looser, cities empty out as people go away, outdoor cafés and restaurants are filled as we yearn for meals under the blue or starry sky, farmer's markets sell a bounty of flowers in poppy colors, we wear lighter and brighter clothes, and everything just seems, well, bouncier. This energy is a great contrast to the heavier ambiance of the colder months - at least for those of us who don't live in southern climes.  Being aware of the change in energies with the seasons makes it possible to live each season more fully, more aware, more in sync with nature and the universe. Summer energy means eating lighter (more greens, more raw stuff, more fruits), adding color to your menu (red chard, orange and yellow peppers, yellow corn, tomatoes in all kinds of colors, red kale, green peas, purple carrots) and wardrobe (more flowery patterns, splashes of color), spending more time outdoors, bringing the outdoors in with flowers, cooking outside, opening your windows to let the breeze in, breathing deeper, singing while you make the beds - you get it.

Live lightly, enjoy the lightness!

no one likes to lose

According to our current cultural thinking if I want to win I have to take it away from you.  Our economic culture of lack has conditioned us to think that there is not enough, that you have to have less if I want to have more. This thinking brought forth the survival of the fittest misnomer of how nature supposedly works - although nature is really a lot more complex and cooperative than that. This belief system - and that's all it is! - has also brought forth a host of competitive games and sports that always create one loser and one winner. Imagine if we could all win? Imagine if no one had to lose? We wouldn't have to explain away our crummy feelings when we are losing with "being a good loser." Losing makes you feel crummy. No one likes to lose!  Don't kid yourself or your kids.

The better way is called cooperation over competition, working out solutions that work for you and me, not just for me. It may require a concession, it may require my coming a bit your way or vice versa. But what's so bad about that if we can both win?

When we sold our house last year we had a price in mind we wanted to get. But the market said otherwise. We could have insisted, and sat on our house some more, and waited for that illusory "winning" sale. Instead, we went with the flow. We sold for a bit less, we sold exactly when we needed to, we sold to the one buyer who really wanted our house - in the end we all won.

let the universe do its job

It's probably happened to you that you misplaced your keys or your wallet. Or maybe your glasses. The other day my daughter was up in arms because she had misplaced her wallet with her library and debit cards in it. She looked everywhere but couldn't find it. So she came to see me and asked what she should do. Some people pray to Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost items. I told her to send the universe a request to turn up her wallet before going to bed, or before 6PM, or however else she wanted to formulate her request. "Then," I said, "let it go. Forget about it. Don't think about it anymore. Let the universe do its job."

Lo and behold, around 6PM she came with a really big grin on her face and exclaimed "I found it!"

This method also works for coming up with solutions to problems you have been banging your head against the wall about. When you try too hard, solutions from outside your usual frame of mind don't have a chance to penetrate the thickness of that mind wall. Side stepping the thinking mind is a much better way. Before going to bed put your problem out to the universe and state with intent that you'd like to wake up to a solution. Then let it go, don't think about it anymore, go to bed and see what comes up in the morning. The solution is likely to come from the place where we go when we meditate or daydream, and it may just be a really good one. Try it sometime.  And always, always, thank the universe.