reason for the bowtie

Creative out-of-the-box thinking and going through life with a critical eye have something in common.

This past weekend I spoke at the one-day Mom University event on how being a popular kid in school, the confinement to a few generic number of traits, behavioral and physical expressions, also somewhat stunts the development of more defined individual personality traits for a while, and that as parents we can help our kids along in breaking out of that mold.  That requires critical thinking and creativity.  

There is strength in numbers and generally we feel safer when we're among like-minded people.  But staying true to yourself sometimes involves going out on a limb.  The corporate world, for example, can feel so confining to a freethinker and non-conformist.  Many have been breaking out of it for the past few years and become entrepreneurs to work on their own creative terms.

If you prefer to be one of many you may feel safer wearing a tie, if you don't mind sticking up for a bit more creativity you might choose a bowtie instead.  Are you a tie or a bowtie kind of a person?

my phone, my cookbook

When there is a book or library sale I usually come back with a few cookbooks.  I love reading cookbooks for inspiration, and to indulge in the pretty pictures.  Hence, my cookbook library is fairly considerable - but now mostly unused. The NY Times cooking section and the stray magazine here or there are also sometime and one-time sources of inspiration for recipes.  However, once read I rarely go back into a cookbook for inspiration or a recipe, or trying to locate that recipe I cut out from the paper last year.   Hence, I also have a considerable pile of unsorted cut out recipes lying around my kitchen.

 The very modern reason for stopping to use cookbooks for my everyday/everynight referral needs is that I can find what I need so much faster on my phone.  No wonder we're all glued to our devices.  They're just so all round useful.  I can punch in any two or three main ingredients and add -recipe, such as pepper lentil celery recipe (just made that up), and pronto I find a selection of recipes with the ingredients I want to work with.  So practical! You can't do such a reverse search in a paper cookbook, and forget about that pile of newspaper clippings. It's of course different if I want to look up dessert options for a festive meal, or various ways of making panna cotta.  A cookbook can still be useful for such a search.  

 Are cookbooks going the way of the phone book? What works for you?

all the money we need?

Our economy and cultural construct are based on a monetary system of scarcity, which in turn is based on a foundation of competition, and winning versus losing.  Our currency used to be pegged to gold, but is no longer. Thus there is nothing actually backing your paper dollar bill other than our cultural agreement that that bill is actual worth a dollar because the government, and all of us, say so.  

If the scarcity of money is an agreement based on a belief system, then we could conceivably change that.   Enters MMT or Modern Monetary Theory.  This idea turns the idea of monetary issuance and taxes completely on its head.  Instead of the government raising taxes first to spend it later on programs, it offers jobs and social services upfront instead, raises no taxes, and funnels all that tax and government salary money back into the economy. Wow! 

Previously I have written about new economic thoughts like local currencies, hour banks, and a universal basic income.  I have also written about our culture of scarcity.  Yet nature is so abundant.  Where does this idea that there isn't enough come from? I am intrigued. MMT is a new buzzword but a highly controversial theory, as many completely new ideas are. But we need to think out of the present economic box to evolve our culture beyond its current paradigm.

a healthy dose of skepticism

It's not because most do it that it's right, or worthwhile repeating, or adopting without questions.  Living with intention means asking questions and doing what you do with awareness - so knowing why you do, what you do, the way you do it.  When you don't question you conform.  You don't stick out, but you may not have made an informed decision either.    

 Over here people who eat meat mostly eat steaks, chops and roasts.  In other parts of the world all parts of the animal are used, and offal or innards are eaten so no part of the animal gets wasted.  Over here we pay an awful lot for college.  In other parts of the world college is free.  Over here we pay lots and lots for medical care.  In other parts of the world medical care is free or inexpensive. Many boys over here believe most colors are for girls, especially pink and purple.  Hence they wear drab blacks and greys and blues and browns.  

Do you feel more comfortable conforming?  Or do you prefer to dig deeper because you wonder why?  Going against the grain is bit like swimming upstream and it forms character because you have to defend your other way of doing or thinking.  It doesn't matter what it's about, but it matters whether or not you've thought about it before making a decision.

it's part of the culture

Flower shops, chains and independent ones, are a thing in Germany. Everyone buys cut flowers.  You bring them when visiting in the afternoon for coffee and cake, you give them when invited for dinner, you get them for yourself, or you offer them just because.  At home growing up we always had beautiful cut flowers on the birthday table, dad included, no gender bias.

 While I was waiting in line at the flower shop a few days ago in Germany, a young man picked two bunches of tulips and had them arranged with some pretty leaves.  He said he was three minutes from home and asked if he needed to cut the stems again once back, obviously interested in their care.  An older man bought two bunches of narcissus, for himself I gathered, because he had them wrapped in plain brown paper, no arranging.  A woman got forsythia branches for her home.  I waited in line to have the flowers for my mom prettied up with greenery.  

Flowers are not only a women's thing in Germany, as I could attest from the diverse line of shoppers.  The displays are abundant, arranged by type of flower and color. The cost is always reasonable. You can take the flowers home as is, or, as many people do, have them arranged professionally with skill and greens, wrapped in gift wrap or plain brown paper, all for just a small extra fee.

Cut flowers are part of the culture.  They add to the enjoyment of life, they beautify a corner of your home, or place a glint of pleasure in the eyes of the receiver.

garnet colored arils

Winter foods in cold climates tend to be heavy, and we like them warm, those comfort foods.  But in between all of that warming and comforting I need some bursts of color and freshness.  Citrus is of course a great winter adder to my food repertoire (here a recent post on that), but my favorite must be pomegranates.

Years ago we visited Morocco in October.  Several large pomegranate shrubs, or small trees, grew right outside our ground level hotel room in Zagora on the edge of the desert. We plucked and ate, and plucked and ate with abandon, as we had never experienced so much abundance of such an exotic fruit.  Here, pomegranates are a special, if somewhat common, winter treat that pops up around Thanksgiving and is pretty much gone after Christmas.

Their ruby red color is sumptuous, and even just a few of those arils, the fancy names for those juicy  seeds, make any dish look festive.  On a special occasion I’ll drop a few into a glass of sparkling wine, where they bob up and down like lava lamp blobs.  Sprinkled over salad the garnet red seeds look gorgeous in contrast to the greens, and provide a surprising burst of fresh and tart and sweet flavor.  For Thanksgiving I made a delicious and beautiful pomegranate and cranberry salsa to contrast with the meat and heavy side dishes.

Pomegranates are part of famed Israeli-British chef Yotam Ottolenghi's food heritage and he cooks a lot with them, way beyond my simple uses.  Check out some of his recipes.   I love expanding my repertoire to keep cooking exciting, mealtime a discovery for those I cook for, and add different nutrients. Pomegranates are full of antioxidants and vitamin C, something we can really use in the wintertime.  

we need hope

What would life be without hope?  The teaser weather out there, 60F/17C with a sunny sky, is delicious and totally un-February like and feels so good.  At lunchtime I let the sunshine soak my face to catch up on some wintry vitamin D deprivation, and revel in the illusion that spring might be right around the corner. The breeze felt so balmy and I opened the windows to let the air in.  After three months of cold and dark and gray this unexpected weather intermission is so welcome and bright.  

Sometimes it's hard to wait, whether for spring or for something else. But what would life be without hope?  Hope keeps us going, whether we yearn for spring or for something else.

a real market

Supermarket shopping is somewhat sterile and aseptic when compared to how people in other parts of the world shop.  We are used to our clean and brightly lit stores with their tiled floors, and aisles and aisles of packaged goods. Neat and organized, and most food out of the way of hands and noses.  Only on the perimeter can you find fresh fish and produce, but even the meat is prepackaged and sealed in plastic, and most bakery items are factory made and displayed in clamshells or plastic bags.  Items are bar coded and prices are set.

In a search for authenticity, freshness, local produce and a more direct connection to our food, farmer's markets have taken off in the past twenty or so years in this country, but many of them have an air of exclusivity and are expensive. Not so in other parts of the world.  

Markets, either open air or in permanent indoor halls, are the way the rest of the world shops.  In European markets we admire abundant displays of cheeses, produce piled high in attractive pyramid shapes or displayed in baskets, meats and charcuterie spreads, just caught fish and shellfish glistening with freshness on crushed ice, locally baked breads and pastries, but also clothing, cleaning products, flowers, and food stalls for a coffee or snack while you shop.  The French touch and smell their produce to make sure it meets their standard of ripeness and aroma.  The fruit merchant will ask you when you want to eat your melon and select it based on its level of ripeness.  When you buy fish you look at its eyes and gills to ascertain freshness, and to make sure it doesn't smell, well fishy. Cheese too needs to be bought for when you want to eat it.  Too hard it will need to sit for a few days, too soft it is past its prime.   Do you want to eat it today, tomorrow, or the day after?  The cheesemonger will help you select your cheese accordingly. The butcher may ask how you plan to prepare your chosen cut and perhaps offer a recipe.

The colorful markets of Africa, Asia or South America, are even more exotic to us.  The souks in North Africa are organized by type for better comparison.  In the slipper souk you find stall after stall of nothing but slippers, while the spice souk has stand after stand of spices heaped into neat cones on flat wicker trays, and the date souk specializes in the myriad types of dates of which Morocco has over one hundred.  Here, the vendor may give you a date or a few nuts to taste to persuade you that his are the best, here you need to bargain because it's part of the game and prices are not set.  You can buy everything in these markets, including live fish and live poultry, clothes, dishes, spices, or household items.  In more rural areas the wares are spread out on cloths or tarps on the ground, as we have seen in India. The smells by the fish or cheese stands may be pungent, the colors of spices piled high on trays are vibrant, the sights and sounds of live poultry kept in large wicker baskets in a Chinese market are noisy.

We lose aliveness, authenticity, rawness, real connection to our food, as well as the beauty of these enticing displays that make us want to taste and buy all of these wonderful foods,  when we remain in our gentrified bubble.  It's good to get out every once in a while to see other realities.  Here an earlier related post on the need to get out.

"to know is not enough"

Watching a cooking show does not make you a chef or even a home cook, you have to actually chop some vegetables and get behind the stove.  Learning about birds in a lecture hall without going out into nature and observing them, does not make you an ornithologist.  A travel agent who hasn't travelled cannot be effective and helpful, and a male ob/gyn is unable to relate to birthing in the same way a female ob/gyn can. I know quite a few coaches and holistic healers who overcame big time health or life challenges, and have turned those experiences into teachable material.  They are effective and convincing coaches and healers because "they've been there, done that."   

Often we wonder "Why me?" Why do we have to go through a particular memorable  or haunting experience?  Without experiences life is flat, and our personality remains flat.  Experiences "put hair on your chest," as my husband would say. Hence we have to feel it, live it, be it, wade through it, struggle with it, until we come out the other end.  Going through a hero's journey makes us a different person, a more complex, compassionate and understanding person.  "Non satis scire," or "To know is not enough," is Hampshire College's motto.  The essence of learning is experience. “ Experiences as soul work” is an earlier related post.

a gratefulness journal

This scintillating splendor wouldn't be possible without the icy rain we had the other day and the ensuing arctic cold. Yet, we have a habit of complaining about the cold, about staying indoors, about the road conditions and what not.

 Last year I began a gratefulness journal.  “Bad is five times more powerful than good,” explains Paul Dieppe of Exeter University and a voice for the advancement of energy and spiritual healing.  Our brain is wired that way, hence reprogramming takes time.  Every night I enter at least three experiences from the day I am grateful for, thus training my focus to the positive.

You can focus on the bad road conditions or enjoy the breathtaking and magical beauty of nature during this time of year.  Your choice.