how to bring awareness

Keeping a detailed written record for a few weeks is a great tool for gaining clarity in a particular area. 

One example of the usefulness of this method is in monitoring your spending - to understand how you spend your money, see your highest spending categories (you spend the most on what you value the most - see a previous post on voting with your $), or simply to budget better. I have kept detailed financial records for decades, now in Quickbooks, but in the beginning (and before there was Excel) in a handwritten spreadsheet. Checks and credit card expenses are easy to track, but to track those elusive cash expenses I keep small pieces of scrap paper in my car and note one for each cash expense until I log it.  At the end of the year my Quickbooks records are  also a terrific tax tool.  But that is not where I was going with this.  We think we know where and how we spend our money.  But do we really?  In our household we spend no money at all on sports events (no interest), and relatively little on clothing (a lot of 2nd hand shop shopping).  After the mortgage our highest spending categories are healthcare,  groceries, and for the time being college expenses (#1 just finished, #2 is starting). Hence, after a roof over my head my health and wellbeing come first, and next is our children’s education.

Many years ago, when I took a course in non-violent communication during my graduate studies, I kept a journal of undesirable dialogues, which I used for analyzing what went wrong and how I could have handled the conversation the non-violent way instead.

Another application of this method is keeping journal of what you eat and drink to understand better what you put into your body and recognize its effects – how you feel in your stomach, your mental clarity, your energy level, how your skin looks, or perhaps your weight.  After a while patterns come into awareness, such as feeling sleepy after certain foods, or feeling light in your stomach after others. For a while I drank a green smoothie every day and noticed how my skin noticeably cleared up after about a month.

Bringing awareness to something that we often do on auto-pilot, whether eating, spending money, talking, or something else (you could monitor how you spend your time to know how much goes into household chores, commuting, spending time with friends, what have you) opens the door to implement changes for the better.

on the incoming Aquarian energy

The Age of Aquarius entered our awareness with a big flower children/hippie/Woodstock bang in the late 1960s together with the invitation to make love instead of war.  The New Age movement, as it was called later, was mildly derided during the 1980s, but this emerging energy is back in full force although it looks a bit different now.  

Between the #metoo movement, women entering politics in unprecedent numbers, and gaining a better education in many parts of the world, female power is rising. It’s the women who are carrying the shift away from our patriarchal cultural models of the past several thousand years.  However, something more is happening.  Indigenous leader and elder, visionary, author, and scholar Barbara Hand Clow wrote in 2001 that “the Aquarian energy is so androgynous that it will tend to balance male and female powers.”

The LGBTQ movement is vocal and visible like never before (here a somewhat related post on changing family structures), and many are openly questioning gender as a binary choice.  Some male to female, and female to male transitions are playing out in bright daylight, such as William Bruce Jenner’s transition to becoming Caitlyn Jenner.  Public figures like actor Billy Porter and Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye’s Fab5 are questioning what it means to be male with their wardrobe choices. 

In confirmation of the incoming androgynous Aquarian energy, The NYTimes Magazine’s recent article Neither/Nor presented us with people who are not transitioning from male to female, or vice versa, but instead cannot truly define their gender according to the binary model.  Thus, transitioning from one to the other is not a choice and they feel caught somewhere else. They don’t feel female, nor do they feel male. Gender fluidity is not necessary something new on earth, as many other cultures have acknowledged a third gender (see a previous post on that).   Whether Porter or Van Ness, or the less publicly visible people who are caught in the middle, they are on the forefront of an emergent energy that will balance the strong female/male polarity we have been taking for granted for so long in the Western world. Thank you to all those pioneers who are showing us a different way.

entertaining is energizing

Having people over, or more formally entertaining, is energizing, nurturing, exhilarating, fun and thrilling.  As a host you put on a small production when you have people over. it all can be more or less elaborate, more or less involved, depending on your personality, experience and adventure spirit.  None of us are Martha Stewart,  but as the host you create an opportunity for people to meet, connect, talk and enjoy life while eating and drinking.  Nothing more simple and satisfying than that.

Entertaining is both an art and a science.  The science lies in the planning process, the art lies in the perfect people combination, food selection and setting.  While it can seem a bit intimidating to be responsible for a bunch of people’s good time, people are very forgiving, and always grateful for the initiative.  We all crave real face-to-face connection beyond screen connection!   My parents entertained often, both for pleasure and business (restaurant entertaining wasn’t a thing then).  When my sister and I were not invited, which was actually quite rare, we had a sixth sense for when the guests left, and got up in the middle of the night (for us) to find the dessert leftovers in the messy kitchen and have a delectable midnight snack.  Regardless of whether we were invited or not, we learned the art by watching and participating in the menu planning, meal preparation, table and atmosphere setting – music was always in the background.  

Nowadays much of home entertaining has become quite casual and easy to put together, especially since, at least where I live, it’s very common for guests to offer to contribute to the meal even if it‘s not outright called a potluck.  You only provide one or two dishes and the setting - easy.  Bonds are forged over food and drink.  Meals are a great way to cement business too, because you get to know people on a personal level. The format doesn’t matter, whatever the season and your enthusiasm inspire you to do is good.  People love being invited, people love to connect – the other night we spontaneously invited friends over for a glass of wine after an outdoor concert – and stuck around until 2am.

Just this morning we decided spontaneously, as we often do these days, to drum a few friends together for a picnic and campfire in our backyard. Check out a recent article in the Times Herald Record on how to throw a successful summer BBQ together with some easy and simple recipes.  And candles, lanterns, twinkle lights, votives with tealights, or a fire make it magical. It’s not complicated, it simply takes initiative and a bit of effort, but it’s soooooo worth it.

the fabulousness of our existence

Walking through my garden right now, I am in awe of the fabulously opulent, burgundy peonies that are just about at their prime.  Through the open window, I hear a beautifully clear and bright bird concert that changes by the minute and is such a pleasure to listen to.  Looking at the sky I squint my eyes because the sunshine is so bright it makes me smile.

What is so fabulous about all of that, you might ask?  What’s so fabulous about it is the self-awareness that permits me to reflect on it.  A gorilla isn’t awed by the sheer beauty of the misty rainforest it lives in.  A cat isn’t amazed by the myriad smells it encounters all day long.  A giraffe doesn’t smile at the bright sunshine with thankfulness. Without self-awareness I wouldn’t notice, admire, reflect, be awed, opine on the beauty, be amazed and happy and grateful for these delightful experiences. Instead, I would go through life matter-of-factly and accepting of what is, a definite notch down from awe.

Awing turns my attention away from myself, away from my small ego to the big world out there, as Christopher Bergland observes in Psychology Today.  

 What awes you?

nature's resilience

Nature’s resilience and ability to bounce back are awe inspiring.  Five years ago, when we built our current net-zero house, we guiltily took down some trees (we’ve replanted lots and lots since), we disrupted nature all around with heavy machinery and lots of construction noise, earth moving and construction work.  

 It’s taken some time for nature to jumpstart the regeneration effort, but it’s roaring now.  This year especially it struck me how many new trees are popping up everywhere, how fast they are growing, and how many animals are coming again through our property, either for brief visits or for moving in.  Bears, racoons, deer, groundhogs, garter and black racer snakes, lizards and salamanders, box turtles, foxes, squirrels and chipmunks, in addition to hawks, several types of woodpeckers, a whole host of birds, praying mantises, and butterflies are among the visible and apparent species.

Nature is powerful, intuitive, resilient, relentless, and sustainably so much smarter than us. It knows what to do. It is flexible. It is patient. It is very forgiving, until it’s not. Nature let’s us learn, and mess up, and make good again, as long as we respect it. What has nature taught you?

2019

my kind of healthy food

My kind of healthy food has to taste delicious not virtuous.  My kind of healthy food needs to feature interesting vegetable combinations instead of steamed vegetables.  My kind of healthy food includes meat, fish and dairy (in moderation) - the more variety the better - in combination with the entire spectrum of all that’s available.  My kind of healthy food incorporates tasty sauces, and copious amounts of clever spice and herb combinations.  My kind of healthy food features interesting textures - crispy, roasted, stringy, smooth, firm, chewy, and gooey.  My kind of healthy food is fresh and vibrant and beautifully colored, a feast for the eyes. My kind of healthy food is inspired by cooking styles from all over the world and is exciting.  

Comedian JP Sears, who makes good fun of those who preach an ultra-healthy and spiritual lifestyle, made a hilarious video on cucumber pizza - raw cucumber slices spread on a round pizza sheet, covered with raw cucumber sauce, and sprinkled with raw cucumber shreds.  Where did we pick up the belief that fried, carby and cheesy party foods are rewarding and fun and delicious because bad, while healthy food is boring, bland and virtuous?  Sounds religious.

No cucumber pizza for me!

live a little

When school is out they wish the kids a safe summer.  When we go away people wish us a safe trip.  “Be safe” is something people sometimes even say as a good-bye.  Kids are so overprotected nowadays, they don’t learn to recognize and navigate true danger.  All that wish for safety hides fears of the unexpected (the unexpected can be good, it can be better than what you imagined!) and the wish for predictability. Same old, same old because it is a known entity.

Have a safe trip!  I wish people so much more than safety on their trip – adventure, curiosity, discovery, connection, awesome weather, great food, new friends, new sights and vistas, relaxation, a shift in awareness, new realizations, and a sense of expansion.

Have a safe summer!  I wish people so much more than a safe summer – beach and sunshine (or mountains and lakes – whatever tickles your fancy), a slower pace of living, lots of vitamin D, feeling the sunshine on your skin and a smile spreading across your face, a bit of laziness, more sleep, lingering outside by the fire on a warm night, and getting through a good book in one swoop.

Have a safe life!  I wish people so much more than a safe life – joy, love, discovery, true friendship, community, serendipity, fulfillment, creativity, endless learning and consciousness expansion.  Here a link to a former related post, letting go of the breaks, and one on serendipity.

 Live a little, discover a little, enjoy a little, savor a little.  

hitting the glass ceiling

All eyes these days are on climate change.  Climate change is of course the huge challenge of our times.  This in turn creates other challenges, such as people migrations north to escape arid and hot, unsettled or flood prone areas; agricultural quandaries like longer drought periods or overabundance of precipitation, and more erratic weather patterns in general; but also shifts of growing zones, and with it for example wine growing regions moving further north, or the reduction and extinction of species. We could go on.

 With science currently being our God, we still focus on technology to fix all our problems, but we are hitting a glass ceiling.  The medical sciences don’t understand many of our current afflictions, hence cannot heal them.  Agriculture becomes ever more technology oriented with its last ditch efforts to mitigate the effects of climate change, and having to feed a still growing world population, by using ever more pesticides, synthetic fertilizers, and genetic modification technology, which is making us and the environment sick.  

Let’s face it.  Technology is helpless when it comes to something as huge as climate change.  Author Charles Eisenstein has reframed the whole climate quandary in his Climate: A New Story, and zooms out to recalibrate our outlook on a bigger issue yet, that of our disconnection from nature in general, the disassociation of ourselves from consciousness, and the need to recognize ourselves as spiritual beings in a physical body.  Even the atheist visionary historian and author Yuval Noah Harari leaves the door open to a solution beyond algorithms and technology in the final conclusion, and the final words, of his recent book Homo Deus .  He asks, ”Are organisms really just algorithms, and is life really just data processing?  What’s more valuable – intelligence or consciousness?” 

Sometimes we need to zoom out to see an issue in a completely different light.  Already Einstein is purported to have said that you cannot solve a problem from within the same paradigm that created it.

own it!

Cooking can be fun, cooking can be meditative, cooking is empowering, cooking brings you in touch with your body, cooking connects you with your cultural heritage and to the Earth. What’s not to love about cooking your own food?

Your body exists in a very tight and intimate relationship with the quality and type of food you eat.   It may sound dramatic, but food can heal, and food can kill – literally.  When you cook your own food you take responsibility for your health and wellbeing because you pick the ingredients and put them lovingly and imaginatively together in a soul and body nourishing creation.  

 Own it!  Take charge! Cook!  Enjoy!

acceptance of the rainbow

In recent weeks we have been watching the new Queer Eye series on Netflix, one nightly episode after dinner as emotional dessert.  The Fab 5, a group of celebratorily gay guys in all their fabulousness, help people find their better self with so much compassion, kindness, humor, honesty and laughs that you’ve just got to love them, even if you are culturally conservative.  How could you not like these joyful guys, besides their obvious great looks and wardrobes?  

On the surface the show is about helping their somewhat lost subjects to find their inner beauty through lifestyle changes. But the secondary message is just as important, if not more so. I love the message of acceptance the series conveys. The way to shift perspectives is obviously not through preaching, arguing or judging, but through the heart and by example.  This is a good one.